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Dark Jester's Movie Review.
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Author:  Dark Jester [ Sun Apr 12, 2009 3:16 am ]
Post subject:  Dark Jester's Movie Review.
Well 1408 finally made it to the bottom-of-the-barrel movie channel I have: TMC. At first I was just high enough to be a little creeped out by the build-up, but the movie really isn't that hard to figure out. It becomes quite clear that the room has no more power than a bad acid trip...literally. It exposes its weakness way too early. The only "real" damage the room does is fuck up his hand...yet even this is proved to be an illusion at the end. It becomes quite obvious the room has no real power over its "victim" when he sees the clown-masked attacker in the window/mirror, gets assaulted, but it's nothing but a bunch of phantom blows.

Of course, all this is given away at the end when he completes his hour and the operator calls, offering to let him ride the ride again or take the express check-out: a noose that conveniently appears in every corner of the room he looks to.

I don't know why, but for some reason I tend to try and "rationalize" movies, even ones as clearly irrational as this one. I think it started with Dare Devil, when I failed to understand how getting sprayed in the eyes with a chemical all of a sudden makes you super acrobatic/athletic. I'll give you the sonar vision and shit, but chems to the eyes does not equate to a three story vertical leap. But I digress. "In real life", staying in 1408 wouldn't be that hard really. All it does is hit you with random environment shifts, illusionary attackers, and deep personal memories that it corrupts and destroys just to toy with you. All is nothing but the room urging you to kill yourself. Obviously people of weaker minds would probably not last, but once you realize what the room is up to, it's like "Damnit, I'm not gonna kill myself! What, oh, there's my dead daughter...again. Haven't gotten tired of this one yet, have you? Hey, could you at least refill the mini-fridge?"

Speaking of which, I did enjoy the conversation he has with Samuel Jackson in the room in his mini-fridge, only to be revealed shouting and arguing at nothing but the fridge itself.

All and all I say it's a bust, for all the build-up there was very little payoff. Pretty much like every date PKB has ever been on.


DJ's rating of 1408: 2/5*





Yes I know that this movie is older than the crust on shocksock's underwear, but I didn't want to pay money to see it in theatres OR HBO/real movie channels...evidently I chose wisely.
Author:  psychokittyboy [ Sun Apr 12, 2009 11:37 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Dark Jester's Movie Review.
Dark Jester wrote:
All and all I say it's a bust, for all the build-up there was very little payoff. Pretty much like every date PKB has ever been on.




Hey hey hey... a few paid off... the ones I paid several hundred dollars on didn't, but the crazy ones love me.
Author:  F_JUNK_DUMP [ Sun Apr 12, 2009 2:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dark Jester's Movie Review.
I will not watch this movie then, thanks for the review my pot smoking nigra
Author:  Dark Jester [ Sun Apr 12, 2009 6:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dark Jester's Movie Review.
To PKB, one word: Violet.

To Junk, the only reason to see it is if it's free and nothing else is on.



In hindsight, it WAS a movie based on a Stephen King story...unfortunately a lot of Stephen King movies turn out lame in the end. Ever see Dreamcatcher? ::barfs::
Author:  F_JUNK_DUMP [ Sun Apr 12, 2009 8:53 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dark Jester's Movie Review.
I remember a Stephen King movie where this town turned out to be fish people, it was really stupid and gay
Author:  psychokittyboy [ Sun Apr 12, 2009 9:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dark Jester's Movie Review.
Dark Jester wrote:
To PKB, one word: Violet.



I got lots of sex outa that one... I just have a higher standards now... I want Kate.
Author:  Dark Jester [ Sun Apr 12, 2009 9:22 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dark Jester's Movie Review.
My point exactly: that's the payoff. Women aren't people like you and me, they're objects. Like...like a lamp. Or...or...or...another lamp. :black

The point is you had a real freak on your hands and you weren't man enough to handle her. The one time I was actually jealous of you and you pussy out (LIKE A BOSS!).

Wait, no, it WASN'T like a boss! It was like a wuss!
Author:  Dark Jester [ Sun Apr 12, 2009 9:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dark Jester's Movie Review.
lol, I go from talking about how much 1408 was lame and end up talking about how much I would PAY to hook up with PKB's ex. I'd pay $5 for the crabs!

























































































Because you can't expect to get the lobster at that price. *drum rim-shot*
Author:  psychokittyboy [ Sun Apr 12, 2009 9:30 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dark Jester's Movie Review.
Dark Jester wrote:
My point exactly: that's the payoff. Women aren't people like you and me, they're objects. Like...like a lamp. Or...or...or...another lamp. :black

The point is you had a real freak on your hands and you weren't man enough to handle her. The one time I was actually jealous of you and you pussy out (LIKE A BOSS!).



We still talk, and we've... done some things since then. I just ain't gonna be in a relationship like that.

And the thing about Kate... SHE IS A PERSON!

I know what you're thinking, lies. But seriously, she loves Simpsons, Futurama, Family Guy, Batman, etc etc. She's smart, has those damn cute nerd glasses, AND is a redhead.

I want her mind, body, and soul :x


Yes, I am smitten...
Author:  Dark Jester [ Sun Apr 12, 2009 9:33 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dark Jester's Movie Review.
You sound like one of them queermo-sexuals. And tsk tsk, if you're looking for a steady relationship, you shouldn't be associating with such a wild fireball like Violet.

SHE WAS FUCKING ASIAN DUDE, THAT TRUMPS ALL!!!!

That's...that's like the next-best thing to having your own personal Anime chick, Rodger Rabbit style!
Author:  psychokittyboy [ Sun Apr 12, 2009 9:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dark Jester's Movie Review.
Dark Jester wrote:
You sound like one of them queermo-sexuals. And tsk tsk, if you're looking for a steady relationship, you shouldn't be associating with such a wild fireball like Violet.

SHE WAS FUCKING ASIAN DUDE, THAT TRUMPS ALL!!!!

That's...that's like the next-best thing to having your own personal Anime chick, Rodger Rabbit style!


She wanted it to be steady... she's the one who hit on me and got the relationship started. She's nice and loyal, but come on...

Also, Asian's just ain't my thing really. I love em Irish! Strong, angry, and able to drink with the best of em.
Author:  Dark Jester [ Sun Apr 12, 2009 10:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dark Jester's Movie Review.
::sighs, shaking his head:: You just don't get it, do you? This is like arguing with Kodachi.....only about something that doesn't matter to anyone in anyway. :black
Author:  psychokittyboy [ Sun Apr 12, 2009 10:19 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dark Jester's Movie Review.
Eh, passes the time don't it?


Now, where was I... oh yeah, so I tells Janis I tells her.... no wait, that was The Simpsons...
Author:  Dark Jester [ Sun Apr 12, 2009 10:24 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dark Jester's Movie Review.
"So I say to the guy: "Look pal, your car was turned over when I got here. And as for your wife, she shouldn't have mouthed off like that!" "
Author:  psychokittyboy [ Sun Apr 12, 2009 10:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dark Jester's Movie Review.
"Was that about my cube?"
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