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What I fucking need
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Author:  Odin Anarki [ Fri May 24, 2013 12:07 pm ]
Post subject:  What I fucking need

Is a game like Legend of Zelda or Assassins Creed

But chock full of pr0n, everywhere

Author:  Pantsman [ Fri May 24, 2013 1:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: What I fucking need

Saints Row 3.

Author:  Odin Anarki [ Fri May 24, 2013 1:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: What I fucking need

I need more games like that, yes

Author:  Orange Juice Jones [ Fri May 24, 2013 1:19 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: What I fucking need

Make it happen man

Author:  Pantsman [ Fri May 24, 2013 1:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: What I fucking need

Orange Juice Jones wrote:
Make it happen man


You're on. FHRPG2

Author:  Orange Juice Jones [ Fri May 24, 2013 1:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: What I fucking need

Do it! DO IT BITCH!

Author:  Odin Anarki [ Fri May 24, 2013 2:09 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: What I fucking need

Oh my, this is gonna be awesome

Author:  Pantsman [ Fri May 24, 2013 3:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: What I fucking need

"It has been 5 years since the events of FHRPG. The once-desolate city of FH is thriving. Trade is at an all-time high, and research is continuing to perfect the fine arts once thought lost.

You are on a flight, a small Cessna airplane that belongs to you. You are enroute to FH City, to visit it again after a short hiatus. Your pilot and flight attendants are enjoying small conversation. You spot the Freedom Spire on the horizon, and your pilot tells you that they're ready to land on Asuka's Cameltoe Airport.

You nod, and return to your seat and strap yourself in. You are wearing a 3-piece suit, you have a .22 caliber pistol in your left leg pocket, and the old coin that you found 4 years ago in your coat pocket. You have a briefcase, containing 500,000$, 1,000,000FH$ and a change of clothes.

The landing goes without a hitch, as your plane taxies to a private hangar. As you walk down the stairway, two heavily armed guards greet you. Once part of a small-time gang that used the abandoned buildings in the West area as a hideaway, the Rusters are part of the City's elite police force. Their signature skull masks are the ones they still use. After some small talk and reminiscence of the past, they escort you to a bulletproof limo. They explain that although the city has been peaceful, they've picked up reports of armed prowlers lurking in the city and are not sparing any chances.

As the limo joins the road, two unmarked range rovers slip ahead and back, forming a small motorcade. Peering into your escort vehicles, you spot some familiar faces. The Rusters seem to be doing well, you decide, as you return their friendly waves. You are enroute to the Fucking Dino Arcology, the central administration of FH City.

You look ahead - just in time to see a bus ramming the frontal escort vehicle. Your eyes widen as masked men pop up from the bus windows, and you barely manage to duck away as they rake your car with bullets. The escort team at the rear returns fire, but then, from a side street, another man with a rocket propelled grenade fires on the escort. The vehicle explodes in a fiery fireball. Then, you get your wind knocked out of you as someone punches you in the chest. Blacking out, you barely register fire slowly consuming the car.

"... you stupid fuck, we were supposed to catch the fucker alive. Trigger happy bastard."
The voice rouses you. The first thing you notice is that your arms are securely bound by a straitjacket.

"... now what are we gonna do? Boss'll have our hides for sure since we didn't get him to spill the beans."
You freeze up as you realize that the voices are talking about you.

"... we could get him to the hospital. I hear they can fix' anything?."

"... and get law enforcement on our asses? Alpha and Distractor team's already been wiped out by those guys. We have one gun between us, and how the fuck do you think we're gonna last?"

"... you sure he's dead?"

"... look at him. Nailed him right in the noggin', the thumper, and gave 'im the burnin' pizza treatment, y'all did. Looks pretty dead to me."

"... well, we could get rid of the body and say he got away..."

"... fucking brilliant. How do we do this?"

"... there's a garbage dump over there. We can dump this whole car and turn the fuckface into pulp, and no one will be the wiser!"

"... let's go."

After a short drive, your assailants leave the car. A few moments later, the vehicle you're in tumbles down a short distance. You must be in the trash compactor pit. As if to confirm your suspicions, the hum of hydraulic compressors start up.

"... right, so we wait here until fuckface's either crushed to pulp, or somehow comes back to life and crawls out?"

"... yeah. While we're at it, I'm calling for extraction."

"... great. Because if the bullets didn't kill him, being squished will!."

As your mind races, you hear a voice over a loudspeaker.

"THIS IS FH CITY POLICE! SURRENDER NOW!"

"Oh shit! They're on to us! GO! GO! GO!"

A firefight ensues, and carefully timing the sound of heavy fire going off, you kick open the car door, and tumble out.

"This is Patrol AER! We've cornered the terrorists! Send backup!"

Over the sounds of gunfire, a helicopter's rhythmic noise joins the fray.

"Finally, black bird! Let's get the fuck outta here!"

The chase picks up again, and you are left in silence. Quickly taking advantage of the solitude, you jump out of the trash compactor.

Tutorial level: Junkyard.

Mission objectives: Find a way to cut your straitjacket off.

Inspect your body for injuries.

Find a way to stop the bleeding.

Leave the junkyard.

As you leave the junkyard, the adrenaline wears off, and the combined shock of blood loss, burns and lacerations causes you to collapse and black out.

You wake up in General Spam Hospital.

"Ah, you're awake. Had us worried there for a second." the doctor on duty cheerfully informs you. "Some good Samaritan brought you in and paid for your medical fees. You're free to leave anytime, but you should be more careful, Mr.... ah, what's your name again?"

You try to remember, but you can't!
Give custom name.

Well, <custom name>, we reconstructed your face to the best of our ability. It was rather badly burned. You're incredibly lucky to be alive, ya know? Please be careful out there.

Begin sandbox mode.

You can now join level 1 factions, do side jobs and leave the city and explore the internet.

Author:  Odin Anarki [ Fri May 24, 2013 4:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: What I fucking need

Were going through with this then, what platform are we using?

Author:  Resilence [ Fri May 24, 2013 5:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: What I fucking need

There are some cool scenes in The Witcher...

Author:  Pantsman [ Fri May 24, 2013 5:18 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: What I fucking need

Dude, I dont know.

Author:  joshex [ Fri May 24, 2013 8:18 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: What I fucking need

platform? think legend of zelda but with porn everywhere.

Author:  n0th1n [ Fri May 24, 2013 9:45 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: What I fucking need

Brutal Legend.

Imagine the game you want. Now imagine something that is better than t hat game. Now imagine a game that makes that game look like shit. Now you are playing Brutal Legend. I don't care what your criteria was. Just play it. Do it now.

Author:  Odin Anarki [ Fri May 24, 2013 10:37 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: What I fucking need

n0th1n wrote:
Brutal Legend.

Imagine the game you want. Now imagine something that is better than t hat game. Now imagine a game that makes that game look like shit. Now you are playing Brutal Legend. I don't care what your criteria was. Just play it. Do it now.


As awesome as that game is, I said we need to chock these awesome games full of porn

PORN!

Author:  joshex [ Tue May 28, 2013 5:18 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: What I fucking need

how about the adventures of Cube McFuckingcube on a LOZ like game fighting other cubes till they open up revealing 2D awesome pronz?

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