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Happy birthday! You're a gemini! Ain't it great? Imagine your age as a percentage. Remember back when the progress bar first started to move and you tried to guess how long it would take to fill up? Thinking about if you had enough time to nuke a hot pocket or boil some water for ramen or tea. Maybe even cook some french toast. Ah, but you're out of syrup. Maybe enough time to go to the store? While you're at it, get me a twenty-five pound bag of sugar, I'm running low. I baked you a cake for your birthday. Rather, I coincidentally baked a cake on your birthday and decided to save you one. I baked two cakes. Like tits, cake is better in pairs.
In short, I got you a headache for your birthday.
_________________ In just under one-thousand eight-bit bytes I have to confer some glorious shrine to myself by means of text, images, hyper links, embeded flash compositions and possibly formatting. I could abuse this easily. Ten hour clips on youtube embeded in a single vertical stack. Multi-megapixel long transparent GIFs causing scrollbar hell. Nuero-linguistic programs that fuck your mind like a fresh squid. Eye raping color schemes using ascii full-width blocks. Images or links to images of things that can not be unseen. Anything called "epilepsy" dot SWF. This is what I want to do. I am not a good person. I just know that would be a flagrant display of disrespect. I'll wait until I can get away with it. NOWINGLORIOUSTODDA.O.! fluffco™ LLC takes no responsibility for anything, ever, at all, under any circumstances and is entirely fictional outside Colorado.
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