Let's backtrack a bit.

No.

I want you to fully understand the gravity of that "no". That "no" is burdened with the weight of every other inconsequential maggot that has applied for access before you. That "no" rips deep into my roots into this place and pulls from the collective disappointment that each of you shitheads has left in my heart to give you the most final and absolute verdict on your application that this place has every seen. With each lost cause, it grows stronger. You will feed it too.

Because he's a fucking little shit. "What is a sticky?" he asks… I can't believe this shit. You have to blindly click like five fucking pages filled with rules and shit just to make a fucking account here. You have to try not to read the sticky it's that fucking easy. The fucking sticky is probably how you even knew where the fuck to post your shit request. I CAN NOT FUCKING BELIEVE THIS BULLSHIT RIGHT NOW● (Capital period.)

Fuck damn, I love rending these noobs. Keep the dumb shit coming.

One fucking post. One fucking post. No, wait, you're name is "lel5days" which means you're trash. Fuck you. No. Go away, we don't want your kind here you fucking summerfag. Please, kindly die in a fire and burn in the worst places first so everything else will feel awesome by comparison. I hate you, I will always hate you, I have always hated you, fate hates you and your mom is a fat snake pregnant with the larva of a thousand slugs.

Your family is without honor and you should feel shame for not having already killed yourself: I say that as somebody that not only doesn't believe in death but disapproves of suicide as the solution of weak people. It's ok for you because you're not even human.

It's like I went to boil some water and instead of finding not-quite-boiling water coming out of my impromptu "kettle", I got a fully formed tapeworm squeezing it's lecherous ass out to drape itself in my cup. Now I need to inspect my whole house for the source of this bizarre infestation and go get checked at the doctor's, ASAP.

That feeling of what-the-fuck followed by knowing that every single day until that problem is resolved is going to be awful and stressful is how bad you've made me feel just by existing in the same general area as me.

There is no redemption. By existing in the way that you naturally default to, you have doomed yourself to never walk this path of life. I hope that hurts.

Actually I went back and thought about it, and realized that I had been a bit prejudice. Fuck those cockmunches who request after two posts as well. While I'm at it, fuck all of you and everyone else, especially the people who don't post at all or have never heard of Forkheads. Basically what I'm trying to say is an all-inclusive 'fuck you' to everything and everyone that does and/or does not exist.

You just want us for our nice tits.

No, you get no approval and you're terrible. I'm getting sick of you shitheads not bothering to look around and figure out what the fuck you have to do for yourself. I mean what kind of logic is it that you decide that immediately after signing up - before you even post an introductory thread - that you deserve something entitled special access. I bet your mother ties your shoes for you. You limp-dick failed abortions would never get 'special access' if it were up to me. Get the fuck out of here and come back when you have any semblance of sentient thought.