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Hello and welcome to the 5th editon of HOLY SHIT NEWS! Let's dive into the stories with a HOLY SHIT story!
-This story is of a guy who bought the Google domain for 12 dollars and owned the shit for a minute and google bought it back for over 12k back in September. Holy fuck! Google fucked up their domain auction and sold themselves to this dude. That's some funny ass shit! However, they offered the guy like $6,000, but he said that the money would go to charity, so they doubled the shit! In the end, the dude's a badass!
-Next story is of a man from Ohio in the San Diego airport getting arrested for trying to have sex with infants. The fucker in question is named Joel A. Wright or I should say the fuckin' love child of Neville Longbottom fucking Dumbo up his fat ass. The dude is a priest in training (not surprised) and was found from a Craigslist ad. The dude is not only a baby fucker, but a dumbass as well! His plan was to got to fuckin' Mexico and fuck babies... BABIES, NIGGA, BABIES!!!! INFANTS STILL SHITTING THEMSELVES AND CAN'T EVEN FUCKIN' SPEAK!!!! NOT PREPUBESCENT OR YOUNG TEENS (which are bad as well), BUT GODDAMNED BABIES!!! Mother fucker deserves to get his dick chopped off and be given a Windmill with it!!! Next story!
-The media is currently talking about someone writing graffiti of the swastika on Donald Trumps part of the walk of fame. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Next.
-Finally, Bill Nye suggests the idea of NASCAR switching to Electric Cars. Personally, I don't know what to say. I'm taking about the fact that people are still watching a bunch of rednecks racing in a circle. Only when a wreck happens then it gets good, going by Beavis & Butt-head logic that is.
Well, there ya go. This is madassgamer and I'm waiting on more interesting news!
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Sun Jan 31, 2016 5:50 pm
Pantsman
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Re: HOLY SHIT NEWS! #5
Switch NASCAR to nukular powered cars. YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO.
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Sun Jan 31, 2016 5:56 pm
KingGMY
Level 16
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Re: HOLY SHIT NEWS! #5
Joel is a disgusting asshole. He should really burn in all of the 7 sins of hell, and I'm a lolicon.
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