Whalecum to the 10th edition of HOLY SHIT NEWS. HOLY SHIT! 10 editions? I thought it would only go on for like 3 or some shit. Well, thank you to all the people of Forkheads for supporting these news posts for the past 10 Sundays! Anyway, let's begin.
-"Ding Dong, the witch is dead!" Says many people about Nancy Reagan. Yes, after 94 years of life, Former First Lady Nancy Reagan passed away today from a congestive heart failure I thought her and Larry King would be living skeletons for an eternity. Anyway, let's look back at the achievements Mrs. Reagan has done in her life. She created "just Say No" and that's about it on the top of my head. Movement's like that piss me off because If I pay taxes n shit and get my ass reamed by my boss and break my dick 24/7 to make a living, I should be able to smoke a little bit of kush! So yeah, she dead.
-Speaking of endings, MythBusters will air it's final episode tonight on the Discovery Channel. The show has been on the air since 2003, Holy fuck! However, I should say that we (Forkheads) have been around since 2003 as well, however, we can't die! >:D Personally, I've never watched too much of the show on TV, but still, it was an interesting show that will be remembered.
-Goddamn! Death, death, and more fuckin' death! Ray Tomlinson, the man who implemented the first e-mail system passed away yesterday from a Heart Attack. Damn, 2016 CHILL! Maybe without this man, Forkheads might have never existed. Or at the very least, be starting forums by shipping pieces of paper to each other everyday, who knows?
-The Philippines have Seized a North Korean ship in connection with UN Sanctions. They seized the Jin Teng (that's the damn ship itself) because of concerns of North Korea's nuclear weapons program. However, I would say that North Korea leader Eric Cartman is not too happy about this and is telling the UN and the Philippines that they're "Breaking his balls".
-Finally, this HOLY SHIT NEWS should've been called "HOLY SHIT, DEATH NEWS", because the death of Peyton Manning's career is here as he's retiring. At least he's had 1 last win at the S-S-S-S-SUPAH BOWL this year. Though, I wonder what he's gonna do now. I know, he should call our asses up and make a Forkheads football team. We would be multi-millionaire giants and we could have Slutty McSlut as our mascot!
This is the madassgamer and I'm gonna play God and bring all the dead back to life somehow.