fluffy wrote:
As many of you know, I'm a sammich artist. I work at a Subway in a mall, often I'm left alone. It's quiet here. The people are typically rude and the expectations on customer service are almost none existent. Here's a true story that just happened.
I was blowing my nose for once, trying to not pick it so much since that's considered bad form while working food service, when I here the bell ding; a customer wants service. "Hi, what kind of sammich sounds like a Friday to you?" This dumb bitch couldn't order a sammich at gun point, let alone for lunch. Every question I asked her on the path towards the supremely customized sammich that would be hers alone—the entire selling point here—she snipped back with attitude as though I wasn't sucking her dick hard enough.
"Would you like any dressing on your sammich?" She barks two at a time and punctuates each pair with a pause as though waiting for me to catch up, eight dressings all together, then turns her attention back to it's holster: her phone displaying presumably facebook. That's when it happens. I was only taking a deep breath to calm down so I wouldn't give her anything to complain about; she's already looking for an excuse. On my exhale I feel and see a dislodged amalgam of mucous and dirt pulled out of the air, congealed into a shapeless brown lump, travels between my nose and her Italian BMT landing between two tomato slices on a pickle. I dart my head up and lock onto eye contact.
SHE DIDN'T SEE IT.
Having made eye contact I have an instant in which I decide my course of action. The moral quandary is this: do I prostrate myself and pick off the booger or is my nasal nugget my chance at retribution against this unmitigated wench? "Salt and pepper," she reiterates in disgust, obviously fuming that she has to speak to me at all. I fulfill her request and ask if her sammich is complete and meets her expectations. She dismisses the sammich as merely adequate. I close it and ring the order up. She leaves.
In my heart I know I made the morally right decision.
If you come to my Subway I'll treat you with respect, I'll be prompt and the sammich you get will look and taste amazing. I'm always positive, I'll joke and you'll laugh. Then again, maybe I'm not a slave and shouldn't be treated like scum. If you don't treat me like a human being I won't act like one.
"Oh.. I'm sorry, I don't have any mayo up here, hold on for about 10 minutes I'll get some out of the freezer!."
*leave, wank wank wank, return*
"Ok there we go, nice fresh mayo."
Glad to see you had a pleasant experience at work for once. Glad to know you've got work. It's nice you don't have to talk to many people, my job has infuriatingly ignorant people I have to teach, and they just wont learn...
oo. look my next class has 4 dicks for brains... I wish i could just crack like the show host (Gem) of Swashbuckle (I had to transcribe the script for it for a side job) in episode 22 Gem just completely looses it on a black kid and shouts "Oh Dick!" luckily for her the crowd drowned her out. but I still caught it! made my day.
Oh Dick! I left the mayo in the feezer... letme be right back with that.