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 HOLY SHIT NEWS! #86 
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Post HOLY SHIT NEWS! #86
Hell-O & Whalecum to the 86th edition of HSN!

- SummerSlam has just concluded and what a show! Jinder Mahal, AJ Styles, and Brock Lesnar all retained their titles. However, Seth Rollins and Dean "Titty Master" Ambrose won the RAW Tag-Team Belts from Sheamus and Cesaro, The Usos won the SmackDown Tag-Team Belts from The New Day, Sasha Banks won the RAW Women's Championship from Alexa "Dat Ass" Bliss, and Natalya won the Smackdown Women's Championship from Naomi.

However, it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows, Baron Corbin lost Aka CENA WINS, LOL! As well as Rusev being buried by Randy Orton. The last match was the highlight, although Lesnar won, Strowman beat the fucking shit outta him! So that's good!

- The P-P-P-POWERBALL jackpot rises to $650 Million, making it the 2nd largest Jackpot in history... HOLY FUCK!!! I COULD RETIRE OFF THAT SHIT!!!! WE COULD MAKE FORKHEADS A MEDIA GIANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! cooki: cooki: cooki:

- There is now a petition out there that demands to replace the Confederate Statue with a Statue of Missy Elliot... Let's all point and laugh! (No Racist)

- Tomorrow is the Solar Eclipse! WATCH MISS IT OR SOME SHIT!!!

- Comedy Legend, Jerry Lewis has passed away at 91. Lewis, along side Dean Martin, are considered of the greatest Comedy Duo's of all time, with classics like “My Friend Irma,” “At War With The Army,” and “Scared Stiff.” They would split up with Lewis making other classics such as "The Nutty Professor". Lewis's cause of death is unknown at the moment. May he Rest In Peace!

- Finally, Elon Musk, CEO of SpaceX and Tesla, calls for ban on use of killer robots... Wait, WHAT?! Yes, this shit is real, folks! He joined 116 specialists from 26 countries in a letter to ban the use of autonomous weapons that could cause the "third revolution in warfare." The letter in question reads, "Once developed, lethal autonomous weapons will permit armed conflict to be fought at a scale greater than ever, and at timescales faster than humans can comprehend. These can be weapons of terror, weapons that despots and terrorists use against innocent populations, and weapons hacked to behave in undesirable ways.

"We do not have long to act. Once this Pandora's box is opened, it will be hard to close."

This is in response to the UN voting on formal discussions to adding AI to Drones, Tanks, and Automated Machine Guns.

Tl;dr It's the Terminator come to life... We're FUCKED :)

This is the madassgamer and I'm gonna find a way to travel through time and prevent this shit from happening!

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Post Re: HOLY SHIT NEWS! #86
*looks at mass production combat units designed to serve as elite personal guards for my trip to America.*

"Whoops."

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Post Re: HOLY SHIT NEWS! #86
I said, "Who's that girl there?"
I wonder what went wrong
So that she had to roam the streets
She don't do major credit cards
I doubt she does receipts
It's all not quite legitimate

And what a scummy man
Just give him half a chance
I bet he'll rob you if he can
Can see it in his eyes,
Yeah, that he's got a driving ban
Amongst some other offences

And I've seen him with girls of the night
And he told Roxanne to put on her red light
They're all infected but he'll be alright
'Cause he's a scumbag, don't you know?
I said he's a scumbag, don't you know?

Although you're trying not to listen
Avert your eyes and staring at the ground
She makes a subtle proposition,
"I'm sorry, love, I'll have to turn you down"

He must be up to something
What are the chances? Sure it's more than likely
I've got a feeling in my stomach
I start to wonder what his story might be
What his story might be, yeah

'Cause they said it changes when the sun goes down
Yeah, they said it changes when the sun goes down
They said it changes when the sun goes down
Around here
Around here

Look here comes a Ford Mondeo
Isn't he Mister Inconspicuous?
And he don't even have to say 'owt
She's in the stance ready to get picked up

Bet she's delighted when she sees him
Pulling in and giving her the eye
Because she must be fucking freezing
Scantily clad beneath the clear night sky
It doesn't stop in the winter, no

And they said it changes when the sun goes down
Yeah, they said it changes when the sun goes down
And they said it changes when the sun goes down
Around here

Well, they said it changes when the sun goes down
Over the river going out of town
And they said it changes when the sun goes down
Around here
Around here

And what a scummy man
Just give him half a chance
I bet he'll rob you if he can
Can see it in his eyes that he's got a nasty plan
I hope you're not involved at all

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Mon Aug 21, 2017 9:53 am
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