Damn i finally could log in.
That sucks, so bad... What you really should do, telling you from personal experience, is learning marcial arts; any kind. You are on your own, after all.
I feel tempted to tell what would i do in your situation but that is totally pointless, i once lived as bad as you (Okay maybe not with that annoying impotence but most likely) Only thing i can tell you is to have the strenght to endure all this bad stuff, the good things come after, really, after all that, but only if you can whitstand shits like this.
Oh and sorry for my bad english