In the last episode, A chinese government spokesman and a loli were kidnapped by unknown people!. All was lost, until a submarine from Hammmland came to the rescue!. As our unlikely band of ragtag 'heroes' charge to the rescue, little do they know what lies in wait for them!.
1) Optimizing your flash productions.
2) How to draw a loli
3) How to become rich.
4) The art of drawing TENTSTYLE.
Optimizing your Flash
So you've stuffed a bunch of music tracks and arts to your flash, and found out your damned swf file is at least 20Mb. Great, just great, you need to learn about optimizing your flash. Fortunately, I'm here to teach you this shit, so pay attention!.
- First, be sure to use symbols, animated or otherwise, for every element that appears more than once.
When creating animation sequences, use tweened animations, whenever possible. These animations use less file space than a series of keyframes.
For animation sequences, use movie clips instead of graphic symbols.
Limit the area of change in each keyframe; make the action take place in as small an area as possible.
Avoid animating bitmap elements; use bitmap images as background or static elements.
For sound, use MP3, the smallest sound format, whenever possible.
Now, we come to the problem of music tracks.
While you're saving your .fla, go to File->Publish settings. If you're a technofreak, just press ctrl+shift+F12.
Okay, see the area of options in 'images and sound'?. Set them both to 16 or 32kbps, Mono, and check the "Override sound settings.'
That'll be good enough. Unless you're a qualityfag, you will see no particular difference. Mess around and see which options are good for you.
How to draw a loli.
You'll need to know how to use the circles tool, the pencil tool and have a general idea of how your loli will look like. Ready? Let's go!
First things first, let's get a general idea of how your loli will look like. I'm gonna draw a school girl. First, get your circle tool out, and draw this.
Note I drew the 'head' structure a bit larger. All lolis have this as part of their natural biology.
Now, select the whole lot of circles and convert it into a graphic symbol. You already know how to do it.
Done? Now double click it and be taken to edit mode. First things first, lock the layer. Now, create a new layer above the old layer.
In case you're a dumb fuck and didn't get why we're doing this... Those circles were just guide lines you stupid shit. The real work begins now.
Move to layer two and start drawing the loli with the pencil tool. Use the guidelines to easily draw the loli into existence.
Now give her something to wear. She'll love you for it. You sick fuck.
I used the lasso tool to select areas to shade. Now give her some shadows to make her look a bit realistic. See, I told you she would love it. Look at that smile.
All done!. Ain't she pretty?. Give her a name. I named her Nia.
Now that you've learned to draw a loli, you can become rich!
HOW TO BECOME RICH.
Play Dian Shi Mali (Chinese: 電視瑪琍; pinyin: Diànshì Mălì). Get a NES emulator and the ROM... and GO FOR IT.
Finally, you're ready, to learn of the secret forbidden method -
流の天聖幕!
The Method of High Master TENT!
Or are you?. Suddenly, Yom falls into a deep sleep!. The loli had chloroformed him!. Oh noes!. The screen fades to black as the loli removes Yom's pants and reaches in...
WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN?!. HAS A RIVAL TO REINA, THE AZN PENOR STEALING PSYCHO BITCH APPEARED?! WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN TO YOM?!. MORE IMPORTANTLY, WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN TO HIS 2-INCH PENIS?!.
Find out, in the next episode! (Yes, there will be a next episode.)
