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 ACCORDING TO THIS CHURCH EVERYONE IS GOTHIC READ IT'S FUNNY 

Are you goth according to this?
Yes 78%  78%  [ 7 ]
No 11%  11%  [ 1 ]
I don't Know 11%  11%  [ 1 ]
Total votes : 9

 ACCORDING TO THIS CHURCH EVERYONE IS GOTHIC READ IT'S FUNNY 
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Post ACCORDING TO THIS CHURCH EVERYONE IS GOTHIC READ IT'S FUNNY
If Your Child is a Gothic, Reform Through the Lord!
Listed below are some warning signs to indicate if your child may have gone astray from the Lord. Gothic (or goth) is a very obscure and often dangerous culture that young teenagers are prone to participating in. The gothic culture leads young, susceptible minds into an imagined world of evil, darkness, and violence. Please seek immediate attention through counselling, prayer, and parental guidance to rid your child of Satan's temptations if five or more of the following are applicable to your child:

1-Frequently wears black clothing.
2-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.
3-Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish.
4-Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include: reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various other Satanic worshipping symbols.
5-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.
6-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)
7-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.
8-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.
9-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.
10-Takes drugs.
11-Drinks alcohol.
12-Is suicidal and/or depressed.
13-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation. (This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)
14-Complains of boredom.
15-Sleeps too excessively or too little.
16-Is excessively awake during the night.
17-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)
18-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
19-Spends large amounts of time alone.
20-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your child may speak to evil sprits through meditation.)
21-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.
22-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this.
23-Misbehaves at school.
24-Misbehaves at home.
25-Eats goth-related foods. Count Chocula cereal is an example of this.
26-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped immediately.)
27-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)
28-Plays videos games that contains violence or are of a role-playing nature.
29-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.
30-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.
31-Expresses an interest in sex.
32-Masturbates
33-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.
34-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.
35-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".
36-Claims to be a goth.


If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene immediately. The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within it. If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your local mental health center.

~St. Mary's Catholic Church

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Sat Jan 21, 2012 3:43 pm
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Post Re: ACCORDING TO THIS CHURCH EVERYONE IS GOTHIC READ IT'S FU
Checking...

Frequently wears black clothing. CHECK. One of my favorite clothes is a black shirt.

Wears band and/or rock t-shirts. CHECK. Megadeth and Metallica is the way to roll!.

Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish. Nope Worldly appearances mean nothing to me.

Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include: reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various other Satanic worshipping symbols. Nope Worldly appearances mean nothing to me.

Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos. Nope Worldly appearances mean nothing to me.

Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.) CHECK. ANTISOCIAL FOREVER!.

Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically. CHECK. My best friends are internets weirdos. HANZO SPAM!

Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports. CHECK. Reading fiction is wholesome?.

Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan. CHECK. O Loli, Bringer of the Morning Star, Save me from the Evil of normalfaggory!.

Takes drugs. CHECK. I use uphamol 650 when the pain gets really bad.

Drinks alcohol. Nope. to keep costs low, I kicked the habit.

Is suicidal and/or depressed. Nope. The Lord, Loli, watches over me and keeps me from harm.

Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation. (This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.) Nope. The Loli's Blessing has given me eternal life. Problem?

Complains of boredom. Nope. I used to be bored. Then I found FH.

Sleeps too excessively or too little. CHECK. I sleep lots in winter, and little in Summer.

Is excessively awake during the night. CHECK. Night is the time for me. The silence! The wonder!

Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.) CHECK. Its too bright! I like my crypt just fine!

Demands an unusual amount of privacy. CHECK. I've got a whole house for me.

Spends large amounts of time alone. CHECK. I am FOREVER ALONE.

Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your child may speak to evil sprits through meditation.) CHECK. Wrong. I am creating big-chested girls in another dimension through naught - but sheer willpower.

Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult. CHECK. I will live, and die - with my friends.

Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this. CHECK. Respecting meat, child molesters, non-hentai nuns and oldfags who dont deserve respect arent in my playbook!.

Misbehaves at school. CHECK. Those were the days, eh. I used to be such a bad dude.

Misbehaves at home. CHECK. Yup, good times.

Eats goth-related foods. Count Chocula cereal is an example of this. CHECK. Bitch, black rice is the REAL goth food.

Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped immediately.) CHECK. SUSHI MOTHERFUCKERS, DO YOU EAT IT?!

Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.) CHECK. Youtube poop!. Yay!

Plays videos games that contains violence or are of a role-playing nature. CHECK. Non-stop, topless! Bus, gas, explosion!.

Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer. CHECK. I can see it! I can see Earth!. Home! We're home!

Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music. CHECK. Rock out...
Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner. CHECK. ...with your PINGAS out!

Expresses an interest in sex. Nope Been there, done that. Brb building golems.

Masturbates CHECK. FH HENTAI THREAD GO!.

Is homosexual and/or bisexual. Nope I'm asexual. Problem?

Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.
Nope IAD! FREEZE! ON THE FUCKING FLOOR! NOW! You're under arrest for suspected links to islam!. DONT TRY ANYTHING OR ELSE I'LL SHOOT YOUR NUTS OFF!

Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth". Nope Worldly appearances mean nothing to me.

Claims to be a goth. Nope Bitch, I'm a lvl 100 zenmaster zombie. :P

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Post Re: ACCORDING TO THIS CHURCH EVERYONE IS GOTHIC READ IT'S FU
1-Frequently wears black clothing.
Whoopsy-daisy colors equal personality? good omen on nowaday Christfags' IQ.

2-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.
Not exactly a fan of anything, especially not of uneccessary spendings.

3-Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish.
Define Excessive.

4-Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include: reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various other Satanic worshipping symbols.

In all fairness, your synbols are equally weird, not wearing any though.

5-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.
Nah, too much hassle

6-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)
EVERYTHING is anti-social by Christfag definition, I guess.

7-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.
U Jelly?

8-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.
There was never an interest in that in the first place, problem?

9-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.
Sure is more interesting than the crap you brainwash little children with.

10-Takes drugs.
No thanks.

11-Drinks alcohol.
Did you know that regularly drinking red wine helps prevent heart diseases?

12-Is suicidal and/or depressed.
Not exactly, what about you?

13-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation. (This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)

Nah, you're welcome to try it though. Drawin Awards and all.

14-Complains of boredom.

You're boring the shti out of me.

15-Sleeps too excessively or too little.
Technically I sleep the recommended amount of hours-ish. Don't ask -when- I sleep though.

16-Is excessively awake during the night.

What you're going to start persecuting people who work night shifts now, Christfgas?

17-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)

Did you know looking at the sun could damage your retina and permanently hurt your vision?

18-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
I have no need to demand anything, I have a family that isn't obsessive control freaks,

19-Spends large amounts of time alone.

The people on the Internet are real people too, like it or not.

20-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your child may speak to evil sprits through meditation.)
Again, I have no need to insist on anything, my entourage doesn't suck crucified dicks.

21-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.

I'm an adult, problem?

22-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this.

Those do not qualify as authority figures by most standards.

23-Misbehaves at school.
Why get in troubles you don't need? I'm lazy.

24-Misbehaves at home.
My family's chill, why would I?

25-Eats goth-related foods. Count Chocula cereal is an example of this.
Are you... seriously? wow...

26-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped immediately.)

Want a cup? Not telling where it came from though.

27-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)
Good luck with that.

28-Plays videos games that contains violence or are of a role-playing nature.
Wait, there are other games?

29-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.
Go away, you're ruining my bandwith.

30-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.
Admit it, you love the dance moves.

31-Expresses an interest in sex.
Who doesn't? seriously?

32-Masturbates

Say you don't and I'll laugh at your hypocrite Christfag faces.

33-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.
Hi, I'm Bi, I'm not interested in you bible humpers though.

34-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.
For the record, Hinduism and buddhism aren't cult but well-established religions with an even larger amount of followers than Christianity and that has been around for far longer as well. ALSO, Philosophy isn't a religion it's a science, dumbass.

35-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".

Your fashion senses are horrible

36-Claims to be a goth.
Nope, but I've proved to be guilty of most if not all of the cardinal sins in this post. Also, I claim to be a succubus, what are you going to do about it, exorcise me?

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Post Re: ACCORDING TO THIS CHURCH EVERYONE IS GOTHIC READ IT'S FU
Succubus, eh?

I'd invite you over for a gaming session, and set the TV to vol;high. :P

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Post Re: ACCORDING TO THIS CHURCH EVERYONE IS GOTHIC READ IT'S FU
Imma Goth nonetheless ;3

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I AM WALKING MADNESS. I AM NEVER ENDING CHAOS. I AM THE SICK CREATION.
WITH INSANITY AS MY BEING I SHALL DROWN THE WORLD INTO HAVOC AND ENGULF IT IN DARKNESS.
MY NAME IS YOSHIMOTO. THE END HAS COME!

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Sun Jan 22, 2012 5:51 pm
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Post Re: ACCORDING TO THIS CHURCH EVERYONE IS GOTHIC READ IT'S FU
Cmon! Point out why!

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Sun Jan 22, 2012 5:55 pm
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Post Re: ACCORDING TO THIS CHURCH EVERYONE IS GOTHIC READ IT'S FU
Too much work, im lazy as this totally unrelated bookshelf

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The Sick Creation http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/588329
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Fuck you, im FH Royal Perverted Reaper.

I AM WALKING MADNESS. I AM NEVER ENDING CHAOS. I AM THE SICK CREATION.
WITH INSANITY AS MY BEING I SHALL DROWN THE WORLD INTO HAVOC AND ENGULF IT IN DARKNESS.
MY NAME IS YOSHIMOTO. THE END HAS COME!

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Sun Jan 22, 2012 5:57 pm
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Post Re: ACCORDING TO THIS CHURCH EVERYONE IS GOTHIC READ IT'S FU
BUT THIS IS CHINA!

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Sun Jan 22, 2012 6:06 pm
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Post Re: ACCORDING TO THIS CHURCH EVERYONE IS GOTHIC READ IT'S FU
NOOOO IM PART CHINESE fml
http://pinkie.ponychan.net/chan/files/s ... 945104.jpg
^ my response nonetheless?

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The Sick Creation http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/588329
EHG (Ecchi Hentai God)
Fuck you, im FH Royal Perverted Reaper.

I AM WALKING MADNESS. I AM NEVER ENDING CHAOS. I AM THE SICK CREATION.
WITH INSANITY AS MY BEING I SHALL DROWN THE WORLD INTO HAVOC AND ENGULF IT IN DARKNESS.
MY NAME IS YOSHIMOTO. THE END HAS COME!

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Sun Jan 22, 2012 6:11 pm
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Post Re: ACCORDING TO THIS CHURCH EVERYONE IS GOTHIC READ IT'S FU
*sticks Fluttershy up your ass.*

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Post Re: ACCORDING TO THIS CHURCH EVERYONE IS GOTHIC READ IT'S FU
*moans* Is that all?

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The Sick Creation http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/588329
EHG (Ecchi Hentai God)
Fuck you, im FH Royal Perverted Reaper.

I AM WALKING MADNESS. I AM NEVER ENDING CHAOS. I AM THE SICK CREATION.
WITH INSANITY AS MY BEING I SHALL DROWN THE WORLD INTO HAVOC AND ENGULF IT IN DARKNESS.
MY NAME IS YOSHIMOTO. THE END HAS COME!

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Sun Jan 22, 2012 6:18 pm
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Post Re: ACCORDING TO THIS CHURCH EVERYONE IS GOTHIC READ IT'S FU
im keep laughing to hard at this list to think up the reasons why im goth, give me a few days, lol

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Until eventually I wake up one morning and find out that I am actually an Idiot hero.
On some quest too cheat on his gf or raise affection of 5 women who conveniently live in my the same dorm as me.
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Sun Jan 22, 2012 7:03 pm
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Post Re: ACCORDING TO THIS CHURCH EVERYONE IS GOTHIC READ IT'S FU
lololol

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The Sick Creation http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/588329
EHG (Ecchi Hentai God)
Fuck you, im FH Royal Perverted Reaper.

I AM WALKING MADNESS. I AM NEVER ENDING CHAOS. I AM THE SICK CREATION.
WITH INSANITY AS MY BEING I SHALL DROWN THE WORLD INTO HAVOC AND ENGULF IT IN DARKNESS.
MY NAME IS YOSHIMOTO. THE END HAS COME!

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Post Re: ACCORDING TO THIS CHURCH EVERYONE IS GOTHIC READ IT'S FU
hmmmm i'll do it when this term is over


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Location: Damnation
Group: Їи$aиїту
Country: Japan (jp)
Post Re: ACCORDING TO THIS CHURCH EVERYONE IS GOTHIC READ IT'S FU
Nyan

_________________
The One and Only Royal Reaper.
The Sick Creation http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/588329
EHG (Ecchi Hentai God)
Fuck you, im FH Royal Perverted Reaper.

I AM WALKING MADNESS. I AM NEVER ENDING CHAOS. I AM THE SICK CREATION.
WITH INSANITY AS MY BEING I SHALL DROWN THE WORLD INTO HAVOC AND ENGULF IT IN DARKNESS.
MY NAME IS YOSHIMOTO. THE END HAS COME!

_________________
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47 pcs.
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1 pcs.
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96 pcs.
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19 pcs.
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8 pcs.
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292 pcs.
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11 pcs.
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1 pcs.
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1 pcs.
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7 pcs.


Sun Jan 22, 2012 9:21 pm
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