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 BWAHAHAHAHA! I'ma teach you to drive down property costs 
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Post BWAHAHAHAHA! I'ma teach you to drive down property costs
looking to buy a house for a reasonable price? (think $10,000 to $20,000 US), all the properties at this price are the only house in the neighborhood that's not in a high crime area? (criminal squatters who probably were living there then stopped paying taxes or loans, but still live there.), don't want to get a cap in your ass while sleeping at night? don't like the sound of very close gun shots while you're doing something delicate? are you worried about your shit getting stolen? are the prices people are listing properties for in excess of 50k? are they more than 200k?

then this thread is for you.

here in this thread I will teach you how to get the house your always dreamed of for the price you want it for. lets be fair when people bought or made that property originally it was dirt cheap around 10,000 - 40,000 but when they tried to sell, they decided to find out what they could do to raise the property value, some simple modifications that could cost less than the profits would yield. suddenly a 10k house is inspected by a property valuation company and listed for 150k.

there's no way to win right?

actually there is.

https://www.housebeautiful.com/uk/lifes ... rty-value/

for those who tldr:

1: if they have a swimming pool/artificial pond, hop the fence and make it in disrepair and fill it with smelly mud and pond water complete with tadpoles and fish. just can't wait for the property inspector to dive back in can you?

if they don't have a pool, sneak in their yard late and night and make a really reeli crappi DIY pool, dig a nice hole fill it with rocks and water, maybe some snakes. make it smelly and muddy and dirty

2: # of bedrooms, unless you can somehow sneak in and convert several bedrooms into walk in cupboards or strip the walls and make it look like a storage room in disrepair, you really can't do much about this.

3:DIY, DIY everything outside the property, Poorly. reeli poorli. if it's a stone or brick property, break out a few bricks at night and replace large portions with cement and broken glass, don;t smooth it let there be gaps. take out gutterwork and roofing tiles. replace them with boarding or paper. scratch all thier windows. don't forget to DIY thier pool and driveway for them. got a fence? move it in a few feet make the yard smaller give more to thier neighbors and break the fence fromt he neighbor's side. (this will also create arguments between them and their neighbors and work towards point 5.

4: pets, pet damage; release a bunch of wild rats you have fed with beans onions cabbage and laxative onto the property. pet smells; slip a vial of skunk oil through their letter box and explode it in the doorway. nothing says welcome to your new high value property like the smell of skunk and smelly rat diarrhea everywhere, with 20 dozen rats.. might want to do the same on the outside of their property as well. that smell of skunk int eh garden means "crap I'm gonna get sprayed one morning before work or one evening when I come home from work aren't I? this neighborhood has a skunk problem and this house is the epicenter.. no thanks."

5: we touched on point 5 already, this is about neighbors, arguments, obscene language, and DIY repairs at obscene hours. random people parking in their driveway, neighbors encroaching on their property. paying the local gang to make a few runs through the area and steal shit will turn it into a crime area.

get your friends to help, as they pass through they cam bombsblasting some deep soul ghetto beats through their subwoofers at 2 and 3AM. have people bring power tools and do DIY repairs on carpentry in the back of thier truck every night in front of his driveway make sure they are drunk tell them to be obscene and tell the property owner to fuck off and tell his neighbors who complain that you're an aquaintence of the property owner or a third cousin of his great grandma or something. hold a street party late at night with booze, invite the whole ghetto to it, invite all the property inspectors in the city (hint they probably wont come but yeah it takes major $'s off the house price and they will most likely reinspect the property afterwards and find all the DIY repairs.). make sure to call these events for times when there will be viewings.

be loud, be rude, be aggressive and annoying, have loud obscene arguments, might want to put a black cover over your license plates and deny any accusations by police and be very polite to police.


congrats that 400k property is now a possibly affordable 40k. that 150k? 15k. 50k? 5k.

you now know how to buy overpriced properties for cheap.

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Tue Jun 23, 2020 6:38 am
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Post Re: BWAHAHAHAHA! I'ma teach you to drive down property costs
Property costs in general? Well, if you can pay it off 100% down payment, I guess no loans plus interest rates.

---

In general, the environment can do a lot for a being, unit, or even a lot. To just focus on a house, while leaving the rest alone, would deem it suspicious.

It's probably better to vandalize the public space as it would be more noticeable. Causing potholes, tagging floor graffiti (see, it's not wall graffiti) on the road, littering (AND I MEANS LOTS) about the neighborhood, having dog/cat poop down the block/sidewalk, plopping down strays (nuisance animals), and more.

Sometimes, it's better to indirectly affect the household to a higher degree. For instance, wreck up the electricity pole (line), call up politicians/organizations to put up canvassing signs, throw a bunch of soliciting mail round the door/mailbox, have plenty of campfires (or burning paper bags) around the lot, and best of all, HOMELESS ATTACK!!!

Homeless people, the bane of all civilization, to end all of civilization. Usually about urban areas, where they can beg, they fuck up perception of haughty snooty bastards. If they can be lured to stay within the area, you be counting for the fucking bitches to be sleeping within alleys or anything that closely resembles it.

---

Fuck, I recalled homeless people sleeping about the yard, probably due to bad weather, probably, maybe; true story.

But yes, to top off the homeless chart, I have to say that the disfranchised minorities are probably the best bet. That means usually the Africans (maybe Latinos), who are usually stigmatized for fucking up believed progress, even though it's probably not true to fact. It really depends on the politics of the country. Oh, and these methods might affect property tax as well. That's as far as I can theorize.

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