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shit happens
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Author:  joshex [ Sun Dec 27, 2015 8:55 am ]
Post subject:  shit happens

I may need a place to crash, wont matter where it is or such so long as it has internet, preferrably somewhere I can stay without a visa for a while so the USA would be the best bet..

I'm in a really bad situation now and it may get worse, I can explain more as and when it happens.

Author:  joshex [ Mon Dec 28, 2015 6:55 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: shit happens

So, it looks as if certain promises are going to be kept to some extent. I will only be going to China for a week at most according to GF's parents I would not be welcomed any longer than that. my family elsewhere will most likely also have hostile feelings towards me, though they say they don't, I know how they operate, actions speak louder than words.

they wont and wouldn't help me. they'll just trap me and shame me.

so it's best I become a loner as it were. well a loner with friends. I'm trying to get a job and I may succeed, I found a position that suits me in texas but I am not sure they will hire me as of yet. I can only hope for the best.

other wise I will be on the street. or maybe I can spend what money i have left and build that UFO I have plans for and see if it really works or I'm stuck with an expensive funny looking one room shelter. or I could find friends to crash with, but I has no Irl friends.

Author:  Pantsman [ Mon Dec 28, 2015 6:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: shit happens

Head north. Also, I'll take care of your account while youse away.

Author:  joshex [ Wed Dec 30, 2015 6:02 am ]
Post subject:  Re: shit happens

thanks

Author:  joshex [ Wed Jan 06, 2016 9:19 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: shit happens

update with more definite info, I am in china and being urged to buy tickets to leave. I have not heard back on the job in texas but probably will sometime in a week. if I am accepted I would need to get a drug test to them with-in 72 hours, which means if I want to job it's better if I'm in the states sooner rather than later.

everything seems urging me to leave my GF (for good) and go to the USA... but I don't want to leave. and what if the job falls through or doesn't hire me? what if I can't find a decent job in the USA? I could definitely get a job here in china, now. I'd have my pick of places to work and a range of salaries, I like china a lot but it wouldn't be the same without my GF, but from what it seems even if I stay, it's over.

there is a chance that after my GF feels better she will think straight again and want me back. then everything could work out here in china. but it's as slim a chance as getting the job in texas.

this is when I could really use some input on what to do.

if i go back to the states now, I found a place but they charge some rent, and I'm not sure how long I can stay there unnoticed before my family finds out and makes demands over what I am to do or where I am to go. plus life will be boring without my GF, i've gotten so used to her.. shes one of those parts of life that can never be replaced as it were. even if she was mean at times, there were still many good times and shared experiences. I will miss those. but I suppose that's how life is, it would have happened later if not now, just wish it didn't happen so soon.

I found a GF because I was lonely and horny and felt the true meaning of despair because I loathed myself, especially due to how the world usually laughs at guys who have never had anyone.

Ever tie a noose with your sheets slip it round your neck, tie the other end to the headboard and drop yourself down off the edge of the bed sitting indian style? unless you are immortal I wouldn't suggest it, but that's the kind of stuff the blues will do to you, at least that's the sort of stuff it did to me.. couldn't even afford a fucking decent rope. an that's when I realized I was immortal, breathing is just comfortable, I can survive without it so any form of asphyxiation wont work, I could even survive in space without a space suit.

that and I've known since I was little that I'm immune to electric shock, the electricity would rather go around me than through me, back when I was single I used to take that as an insult from nature that even it wouldn't touch me.

now I'm going back to that life style. I'm forced to go back. yet I'm not there yet, but no matter how I plea it's not helping to let me stay. yeah, GF was restrictive of my me time. probably the only thing I didn't like, well that and how she kept trying to break me down into a pile of mush for her own amusement or to release her anger which she couldn't express on other things. I've spent a fair share of time bashing my head in and living in a new state of despair because of it. despair because I tried so hard and gave it my all, threw my whole life unguarded into her care, did nothing wrong then she just gets angry and tries to break my morale, finding the small things in the back of my subconscious that make me snap and poking at them as I plead for her to stop and beg for another chance in any way I could, only to be definitively and carelessly denied till the last grovel possible was spent leaving me no options.

yeah, those are the times that everyone here got so mad at her for, and there have been quite a few, seems every few months they happen right when it's convenient for her to break away.

so it's both bad and good to be out of this situation, but the bad may haunt me for the rest of my life in memories.

so what do? the tickets back to the usa are cheapest next tuesday (or later on the 26th of january is much cheaper, but I may miss the job if I buy those), should I do as my gf says and leave asap? breaking ties forever..

or should I stay a while and try to see if I can worm my way back into staying with her?


Edit; also I have a cat in china with her, I can't take him with me and would miss him.

Author:  arch_enemy [ Wed Jan 06, 2016 11:42 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: shit happens

honestly i think you should go ahead and leave her. from what you said it's rather clear that to her you're not anything more than a plaything. if you leave her now you may regret it, but i think you'll regret staying with her more than you would if you left

Author:  Pantsman [ Thu Jan 07, 2016 8:28 am ]
Post subject:  Re: shit happens

Focus on getting a good job, then drop the tac-nuke on the slaver gang.

Author:  Odin Anarki [ Thu Jan 07, 2016 3:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: shit happens

Honestly I think you should make this decision as if your gf is already out of the picture. Believe me, theres someone else out there. Not to give you feel good bullshit or anything. It's just fact that out of how many people that are in the world, theres someone else you will meet that will make you happy. I can understand that being abused is better then being lonely for you(not how I would ever feel, but I understand the emotion), But don't factor your clearly unstable gf into the equation when it might not even be a possibility, and even if she did take you back.. this ENTIRE SITUATION can happen again. I've had people who I thought changed, and then ended up bringing the situation right back where it was just like what I'm talking about here. situations where I thought I might be homeless myself.

So the question is.. are your opportunitys in america better then your opportunities in china? Is it easier to get a new girlfriend in america or china? Do I generally like life better n america or china?
Those are the questions you should be considering. Not weather your girlfriend might do this or do that, you can't predict her, if you could, you wouldn't be in this situation.
To me it sounds like you might have a better job opportunity in china, so maybe you might want to stick there. Texas is not that great of a place in the U.S. unless you already have a texan mindset I suppose. considering you decided to move to china... I doubt that.

So right now my advice is forget about your chances with your girlfriend, but stay in china.

Author:  joshex [ Fri Jan 08, 2016 7:10 am ]
Post subject:  Re: shit happens

I appreciate all the feedback, I've decided to let fate decide, we'll see what happens.

Author:  joshex [ Sun Jan 10, 2016 7:53 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: shit happens

fuck fate lol. I forgot that fate is the fucking devil.

right, so here's the skinny, I really took everyone's points of view into consideration here, even my family and such suggest to KO the relationship, heck even God suggests it in the bible for this specific situation.

I am going to give it one last try for the sake of all tries so I'm not leaving on bad words from either side. I'll be making it rely on if I can get a job that pays at least $50k a year. If I can't then it's over and it's no ones fault but fate. if I can then.. well that's a lot of money I'd be able to enjoy this shit they call life with that kinda cash so I would stay and the GF would be less imposing.

Author:  joshex [ Thu Feb 22, 2018 5:25 am ]
Post subject:  Re: shit happens

shit never ceases.

So, GF scheduled classes (special private classes with a private student) during a holiday break, I was ok with it because it was some local money and good pay especially because I had the whole week off so it'd be my only pay that week. but the problem was "where the fuck can I teach?" the quiet rooms were too far from the internet router, the room closer had no working lights and they were all too chinese to bother trying to find a lightbulb. the living room was filled with noisy people arguing about money and getting on noisy phone calls on speakerphone. and of course TV. btw all the seats in the living room were taken by people playing cards.

the first few days we managed to do the class in the afternoon when the noisy people were all out. but then one day the student couldn't come and the next day she wanted class later at night. this caused me to frantically find a place to teach at the last second. which ended up being on the balcony where they hang laundry. (it was the only quiet place near the router)

but there was only one outlet and it was taken by the washing machine (smart people know where this is going). The washing machine was not on so.. if the plug fits why not? because the washingmachine outlet uses higher electric current than normal outlets, thats why not. so I plugged it in and got in class and hear a pop then notice my computer is saying I'm not plugged in and that my battery is low. so I check the wires and then see that the power protector on my chord is expanded and busted out one side.

for fuck sake I've been without a computer for days, I had to use my GF's computer and fuck if I'm gonna login here or discord on that shit! I'm not giving her even a hint of my net traffic. worst part was when I wanted to draw I could not.

I still do not have a replacement power cable but at least I'm back at her parent's house and in a locked room where I can get on here (on her father's computer, after I cleaned out a variety of viruses from it), this computer is trash, it's slow and all chineseized with annoying chinese typing software and default chinese installer languages. it was a pain just to get english firefox that wasn't all insta hacked up with all the chinese redirects and tab hacks..

on the plus side I worked on mah main character drawing (GF even managed to scold me for that even though it's not hentai in the least) and when I say worked on it I only worked on the face because I had to start fresh and the face was proving to be a hard part.

been having weird dreams lately.

Also:
now I am deprived of even drawing, gf uses her computer for classes and I am stuck on a different computer I don't want to have to install gimp and transfer files onto a computer I don't plan to use more than a few times. but all the computer shops are still closed for chinese newyear it may be 4 more days or more till they open.. And I almost doubt they will have a spare power cable with power protector hanging around, I'll probably have to order it. I hope it isn't like the rest of the shit I wanted to order, most of that GF said no to, no plant pots to plant rose hips, no plant pots to plant carolina reapers, she kept teasing "yeah we'll get you a pot, but don't we already have one on the balcony?" "no it's gone" "what about those pots outside" "no they are broken" "what about this pot" "no it's too small" "I'm not ordering any pots", if she pulls the same shit with the powerchord "you can just use my dad's computer you don;t need a powerchord for yours we'll just sell it" it'll be "FUCK YOU NO, MY FILES ARE ON THAT AND I'M NOT SELLING TILL I GET THEM OFF AND HAVE A NEW COMPUTER WITH WIN 7 AND ALL MY SHIT AND PASSWORDS RE INSTALLED/COPIED".

if she wont do it I'll just buy it on the internet and if it wont ship here directly I'll get my brother to ship it or something.

Author:  RV-007 [ Thu Feb 22, 2018 10:37 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: shit happens

Welcome, to China. Possibly repressive, paranoid, recessive, run-down, and ... You teach at a fucking house? Damn, poor quality control! You need to tell the super advisa about this! You need to get your business going on! You pay for rent, at least expect something. It's like the toilet's leaking and you're on vacation. Woo! You get paid 50 grand? Doubt not.

Sorry about the internet thing; I hadn't experience that during my visit, but I expect it to be preferably broadcasting. If you NEED (not want) damn internet/computer access badly, I would suggest to use the public space during opening hours. Made in China, you get what you paid for. *shrugs*

A bit off-topic, I want to add my (biased) story in what's going down. I like China; it's like the Chinatown/Hong Kong thing, but it also got its interest in defense/politics of all forms. Hey, it's a different country and I would have to say quite reasonable given its location of region. Perhaps even fair! I'm not going to give much details as this topic is about living in a different country and the section is general serious. I had been in a visit and things can be quite different depending on where you go. I even get to visit its neighboring countries. I'm not sweating. Pretty cool with their own flair.

I'm just saying that I understand that adjusting your life to just culture shock can be difficult, but possible. I'm going to give you props for drawing in what I presume in possibly sensitive overtones. However, I'm just going to say that trade does exists (even for visual novels and other media mediums [they can be a bit dated or bootlegged though; fair enough, so is the US]). I don't want to intrude, but I presume that you are with a Chinese/Asian GF and are dorming with her parent's home. It kinda feels like early immigrant story in America (city). I'm no global-wise trotter, but I feel for you, my friend, I feel for you!

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