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 Conker's Bad Fur Day. Happy Tree Friends + Nintendo. 
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Post Conker's Bad Fur Day. Happy Tree Friends + Nintendo.
Most of you have probably never heard of this game. That's okay. Google for a rom, as I probably shouldn't link it. If you end up on romulation, that site doesn't work anymore. Check mediafire, probably up there somewhere. I can however probably link you to this perfectly legal emulator for the PC. You can get the newest version on the bay, but there's not much difference for this game.
http://www.pj64-emu.com
Anyway, onto the actual content.
PERSONAL STORY. SKIPPABLE.
People always ask me what my favorite game is. I always used to tell them games are so different, it's like saying your favorite thing. Eventually I really started to put some thought into it, and ended up with two very different and distinct games. One of them is this game. I first found it around seven, and was intrigued. I played it all the time, and eventually got my own copy. I even bought the Xbox Re-release before I had an Xbox(not that good don't play it) anyway it's really good. I still play it with friends, or through the story every now and then.
HISTORY LESSON. SKIPPABLE.
Now the thing about the game, is it came out around the end of the N64. Nintendo wanted a new game to appeal for adults and say the N64 wan't just for Super Mario or Zelda. It wanted adults. So it took it's best company, Rare(the guys who made star fox, battletoads, kinect sports, F-Zero, Banjo Kazooie and more) and asked them to make the most fucked up game they could. The game they ended up with was one of the first games if not the first with lipsynching, particle effects, Mature humour(banjo could be argued on that), and all the types of action it has in one game. It wasn't successful at the time but is one of the highest critically rated games and to me is one key reasons to buy an N64. Basically it's a cult game.
GAME KEY POINTS. TECHNICALLY SKIPPABLE, BUT AT THIS POINT IT'S WHY YOU'RE HERE.
First off this is one of the most M rated games to ever get the title. It's got everything from Giant singing piles of shit(not youtube linking it's more fun to see it yourself in game.) to watching little army squirrels get their heads blown open by sniper rifles. You've got giant boobs, strip clubs, piss, actual uncensored 3D dicks, zombies, Matrix and terminator jokes. The list goes on and on.
let me start you out with the game story. It starts with a clockwork orange reference. Then it shows you being drunk at a bar, and choosing the wrong way home. So technically the entire story is about you getting home...but that's not the point. Thinking about it you never do get home though... But whatever you don't care, the game's too awesome.
The gameplay seems pretty basic at first. It's a platformer with a melee attack right? But soon you'll be racing on lava, riding dinosaurs, fighting nazi teddy bears in WWII, dodging trip wires, and so much else. The only problem with emulation is the drunk first person videos and matrix kills fuzz the screen into colored dots. But that's only 0.1% of the game. Also you technically need an analog controller to beat the final boss, but I'm not spoiling that, it's too good. This is a swear filled game that's not afraid to tell you to fuck off. Almost everyone will be a dick to you,and you have to be a dick to them. It's nothing personal right? It's a tough game, that you'll die in. and Often. The first time you die is still one of my favorite moments in the game. But though there's so much to do there I shouldn't go much more into the story other to say that it's mostly awesome. It's hard, and slightly aged, but it's still one of the best damn times in video games.

Now on Multiplayer. The game has some of the best multiplayer combat I've ever played, and is still so good, that I've played it more than modern games like call of duty or uncharted. Multiplayer itself has a bunch of modes. Death match(skull) which allows you to pick a map and a character, but everyone kills everyone. Some of the maps are dynamic or trap filled, others are just normal.

War is the second one. War lets you either play Team deathmatch or Capture the flag. Capture the flag is hard as fuck, because you only take 6 hits till you die. Also you have a cartoonishly large head that's great for headshots. And if you get hit by a katana or chainsaw it's a bloody insta kill. So from that getting across the map is hard as fuck, BEFORE even getting into the enemy base, dodging all the base defenders and respawns, getting the flag, getting OUT, getting back across the map...It's just hard even with enemy level set on inbred.
That said Team Deathmatch is awesome. You can either defend, attack, run around killing, snipe, throw knives, or Gas the entire map, killing anyone without a gasmask or who's in the safe zone. There's a ton of weapons and the whole thing is awesome. On both TDM and colors the biggest problem is there's only one map for each. But that map is SPECIFICALLY designed for that mode, and is amazing.
I really hope we'll have a sequel one day where everyone will be real players.

Onto the next mode Heist. Heist is a parody of Reservoir dogs in story. You have four teams with up to two people a team. the goal is to steal the money in the center and bring it back to base. You get hit you drop the money and it jumps back to the center. Why does it jump? magic. once you pick it up you can't attack. If you die you re spawn. Everyone spawns with a bat but can pick up shit like crossbows or bazookas. it's fun.

Race is probably the craziest one. It's like if Mario Kart only had two power ups. Boost, and homing missile, and then fucked burnout and had a baby that liked to surf. You hit a wall? die. You get hit by a melee weapon? fly off and die. Missile? die. You'll be moving crazy fast down lava on a hoverboard. It's really fun and a nice mode.

Beach is probably the hardest mode for both players. You play as either Nazi teddies or French immigrants. The french immigrants have to make it from one side of the mad to the other without dying. Only problem is the Nazis have sniper rifles and turrets. most of the immigrants will die, but it's hard to kill em all. The big twist is the immigrants can do a loop and get to a platform to blow up the bears. It's worth two safe immigrants, but the bears will guard it because of that. It's really teamwork and luck for the immigrants and fast shooting and map control for the bears.

Which brings me to my second favorite mode. Raptor. You play as either cavemen or Raptors in this. Cavemen get weapons, and Raptors? well they're raptors. Goal is really CTF with a caveman twist. Cavemen have to get raptor eggs and fry them in a pan. Raptors have to garb the cavemen and bring them as food to their children.
If you haven't guessed the problem yet, it's that the raptors are damn overpowered. Like instakill overpowered. There's only two,so they can be outnumbered, but the map is too intricate for that most of the time. Cavemen have to be a great team in this while the raptors don't really work well together.it's an interesting play, but you have to get the right people together to play it.

But anyway that's everything. It's an amazing game and emulates well on most PCs. If you have friends, get them to play with you. If not? play it yourself, the AI is pretty good. And when you get to tickle the big breasted sunflower you know you have a good game.

I also choose to nominate this as the official FH commercially appreciated game, for being the least self serious yet still fucked up game out there.

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Games are awesome Nuff Said.
Fuck you all, I love you so much.
Storytelling is my true love.
I Thought of all of these statements in an instant.
I improv so well not improving is like retarding myself.
BLAH BLAH BLAH Pretentious crap, references, jokes, and contrary statements.

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Mon Feb 20, 2012 12:20 pm
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Post Re: Conker's Bad Fur Day. Happy Tree Friends + Nintendo.
http://www.vizzed.com/play/conkers-bad-fur-day-n64-online-nintendo-64-8951-game

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who149 wrote:
I'm trying i'm trying~ i'm making I'll try too slowly up my posting. At least once a day for a bit. Then I'll up that too twice, then four, then 8 and so on.

Until eventually I wake up one morning and find out that I am actually an Idiot hero.
On some quest too cheat on his gf or raise affection of 5 women who conveniently live in my the same dorm as me.
In which I only have 100 days to seduce them all.

Remon wrote:
Now we can dominate the porn industry, camera industry, AND the world!
YomToxic wrote:
YOU BETTER STAY ALIVE OR ELSE I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND RAPE YOU DEAD.

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Mon Feb 20, 2012 12:39 pm
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Post Re: Conker's Bad Fur Day. Happy Tree Friends + Nintendo.
Still gonna need a controller with at least one analog for the final boss battle. I use a PS2 like one.

_________________
The truth to everything lies in nothing.
Games are awesome Nuff Said.
Fuck you all, I love you so much.
Storytelling is my true love.
I Thought of all of these statements in an instant.
I improv so well not improving is like retarding myself.
BLAH BLAH BLAH Pretentious crap, references, jokes, and contrary statements.

Image


Mon Feb 20, 2012 12:48 pm
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Post Re: Conker's Bad Fur Day. Happy Tree Friends + Nintendo.
ill see if my ps3 usb controller can plug into a computor and still work

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who149 wrote:
I'm trying i'm trying~ i'm making I'll try too slowly up my posting. At least once a day for a bit. Then I'll up that too twice, then four, then 8 and so on.

Until eventually I wake up one morning and find out that I am actually an Idiot hero.
On some quest too cheat on his gf or raise affection of 5 women who conveniently live in my the same dorm as me.
In which I only have 100 days to seduce them all.

Remon wrote:
Now we can dominate the porn industry, camera industry, AND the world!
YomToxic wrote:
YOU BETTER STAY ALIVE OR ELSE I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND RAPE YOU DEAD.

_________________
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Mon Feb 20, 2012 12:55 pm
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Post Re: Conker's Bad Fur Day. Happy Tree Friends + Nintendo.
Maybe I should buy a new usb controller, last one died because of hardcore abuse

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Mon Feb 20, 2012 1:39 pm
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