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 To Catch a Predator. 
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 To Catch a Predator.
I'm on the internet
Posin' as a little girl.
I'm tryin' to lure evil
Into my world.
I tell them that I'm curious
And I'm only twelve.
Mom and dad are gone for the day,
I'm by myself.

Buckets of throw-up
Are next to my computer.
Hoping that they show up,
Cause what I'm about to do to'em
Would make the devil sick.
I sharpen my blade.
Frontin' to this perv
Like I'm only in the 7th grade.

The doorbell rings
I gotta get'im inside.
In my best little girls voice,
I'm like "Hi!
Come on in!
I'm putting on my bikini!"
And when the door shuts,
That's when I let him see me.

Hi there!
I stab him in the neck first!
Cause it hurts!
Hit'im where the blood squirts!
Carve his whole face off
And make him eat it!
Chain him up by the foot in the basement,
Bleeding!

I'm probably gonna burn for this!
Ain't no lesson to learn from this!
There's nothin' I'ma earn!
But it sure is fun!(To catch a predator.)
Said it sure is fun!(To catch a predator.)
And it sure is fun!(To catch a predator.)

I'm probably gonna burn for this!
Ain't no lesson to learn from this!
There's nothin' I'ma earn!
But it sure is fun!(To catch a predator.)
Said it sure is fun!(To catch a predator.)

Soon enough,
Feds'll be shuttin' down my service.
Because people out there
Think they don't deserve this.
Until it's your kid
An old man's finger-fuckin...
Titty-suckin...
Then you want the knife stuck in!

I don't blame you,
That's why I catch'em in advance.
While his dick is still in his pants
They never get the chance!
I tell'em I'm alone
And I'm only thirteen.
Lookin for a good time...
If you know what I mean.

Bring me some Funions,
And a slurpee.
"Promise not to hurt me,
Or give me herpies!"
And within 20 minutes,
Here comes a fuckin' doctor.
Knockin' on my door,
A pedophile butt-knocker!

"Come in! Have a seat!"
And then I stroll in
With the all purpose hunting blade
Straight up his coat!
Cut his fuckin' hands off,
Now he ain't touchin nobody!
Chain him up by the foot in the basement,
Bloody...

"Please...please Mr. Clown sir, you don't have to--*PSHT!*" "Zip it!"
"Ple...PLEASE! I've got money!--*PSHT!*" "Shut it, fucker!"
"Please! We can work this out!--*PSHT!*" "SILENCE I SAID!"

Stick him next to this other fool,
Both left for dead.
Every time I walk by'em,
I punch'em in the head!
Cut their fuckin' dicks off
And stick'em in each other's mouths.
NOW what'chall
Talkin about?

I'm probably gonna burn for this!
Ain't no lesson to learn from this!
There's nothin' I'ma earn!
But it sure is fun!(To catch a predator.)
Said it sure is fun!(To catch a predator.)
And it sure is fun!(To catch a predator.)

I'm probably gonna burn for this!
Ain't no lesson to learn from this!
There's nothin' I'ma earn!
But it sure is fun!(To catch a predator.)
Said it sure is fun!(To catch a predator.)

"What's in the bag?"
"Funions and condoms..."
"What's in the bag?"
"Funions and condoms..."
"What's in the bag?"
"Funions and condoms..."
"Why did you bring condoms?"
"I didn't mean too!"

The house is gettin' funky...
Bodies in the basement stinkin...
What the fuck
Am I thinkin?!
I put the face pain on and go downstairs
And beat they ass sometimes,
Cause it eases my mind.

Some of them are dead
And some are still livin'...
But I'ma hurt'em
Every chance that I'm givin.
I hit'em with the nail gun.
Or the stun gun!
They can't run,
So they're both mad fun!

I was sawing a head off
When I heard the doorbell.
I wasn't expecting any predators
But oh well.
I took my spot
"Come in! I'll be right there!"
But I left a head sitting
On the livingroom chair.

He seen it and ran,
I had to give chase.
We cut across the lawn
With my knife swingin for his face.
I threw it,
Stuck him in the back of the neck!
Still in my drawers
As I dragged him home a bloody wreck.

"AHHH!! SOMEBODY, HELP!--*PSHT!*" "Zip it!"
"AHHHH!!! PLEASE!!! *PSHT!*" "Shut the fuck up!"
"AHHHHH!!!!! *PSHT!*" "People are looking, silence!"

A bus full of high school kids
Watched it happen.
He kept screamin' like a panzy
Despite my slappin'.
Plus the neighbors seen it
And so did the mail-man.
But they all never said
Nothin' bout it again...

I'm probably gonna burn for this!
Ain't no lesson to learn from this!
There's nothin' I'ma earn!
But it sure is fun!(To catch a predator.)
Said it sure is fun!(To catch a predator.)
And it sure is fun!(To catch a predator.)

I'm probably gonna burn for this!
Ain't no lesson to learn from this!
There's nothin' I'ma earn!
But it sure is fun!(To catch a predator.)
Said it sure is fun!(To catch a predator.)
And it sure is fun!(To catch a predator.)

"Meanwhile, back at the house..."
"Hey! Come on in! What kind of alcohol did you bring?"
"I brought Absolut Citron. I brought Mandarin Orange. I brought a shot of Jaegermiester."
"Wow!"
"In several cases, the men were asked to bring food, alcohol, and condoms. Law enforcement says this helps show an intent to solicit a minor. What have we got here?"
"...bag of Funions..."
"Funions? What about condoms? Did you bring condoms?"
"..........I did."
"You did."

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Mon Oct 19, 2009 8:47 pm
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FH Pope
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Post Re: To Catch a Predator.
I laughed.

Get on msn and send it to me. Now.

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Tue Oct 20, 2009 1:45 am
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Post Re: To Catch a Predator.
Lol'd at the stungun part.

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Tue Oct 20, 2009 7:12 am
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