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 Favorite Lines 
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Post Re: Favorite Lines
Lime wrote:
Way out west there was this fella I wanna tell ya about. Goes by the name of Jeff Lebowski. At least that was the handle his loving parents gave him, but he never had much use for it himself. See, this Lebowski, he called himself "The Dude". Now, "Dude" - there's a name no man would self-apply where I come from. But then there was a lot about the Dude that didn't make a whole lot of sense. And a lot about where he lived, likewise. But then again, maybe that's why I found the place so darned interestin'. See, they call Los Angeles the "City Of Angels"; but I didn't find it to be that, exactly. But I'll allow it as there are some nice folks there. 'Course I ain't never been to London, and I ain't never seen France. And I ain't never seen no queen in her damned undies, so the feller says. But I'll tell you what - after seeing Los Angeles, and this here story I'm about to unfold, well, I guess I seen somethin' every bit as stupefyin' as you'd seen in any of them other places. And in English, too. So I can die with a smile on my face, without feelin' like the good Lord gypped me. Now this here story I'm about to unfold took place in the early '90s - just about the time of our conflict with Sad'm and the I-raqis. I only mention it because sometimes there's a man... I won't say a hero, 'cause, what's a hero? Sometimes, there's a man. And I'm talkin' about the Dude here - the Dude from Los Angeles. Sometimes, there's a man, well, he's the man for his time and place. He fits right in there. And that's the Dude. The Dude, from Los Angeles. And even if he's a lazy man - and the Dude was most certainly that. Quite possibly the laziest in all of Los Angeles County, which would place him high in the runnin' for laziest worldwide. Sometimes there's a man, sometimes, there's a man. Well, I lost my train of thought here. But... aw, hell. I've done introduced it enough.
Truly one of the greatest movies of all time.


Lets say you're driving a car with our brakepads. You're drivin' along, you're drivin' along. All of a sudden there's a truck tire in the middle of the road. ERRRRRRRRT! Whoa. That was close. Now lets say you're using the "other guy's" brakepads. You're drivin' along, you're drivin' along. All of a sudden you're kids start yelling from the back: "I gotta go to the bathroom, daddy!" "NOT NOW DAMNIT!" Truck tire. ERRRRRRRRRRR---"I CAN'T STOP!" CRSSSH BWHGGGGGG DOOV DOOV! THERE'S A CLIFF! AHHHHHHHHH! CRSSSSHH! "OH MY GOD, WE'RE BURNING ALIVE!" "DADDY, I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS!" Here comes the meat wagon: EEEE-OOOO EEEE-OOOO EEEE-OOOO! And the medic gets out and says "Oh my god!" New guy's in the corner, puking his guts out: "HWEHHH! HWEHHH! HWEHHH!" And all that because you wanna save a couple measly pennies. Now if you ask me...

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Wed Dec 23, 2009 10:03 pm
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Post Re: Favorite Lines
First of all, to understand what happened to Killer, you've got to understand who Killer the Dog was. Now Killer was born to a three-legged bitch of a mother, and he was always ashamed of this, man. And right after that, he's adopted to this man: Pito Leevowitz. He's a small-time gun-runner and rottweiler fight promoter. And so he puts Killer into training and next thing you know he's good! He's damn good! But then...he had the fight of his life. They pit him against his brother: Nibbles. And Killer said "No man, that's my brother! I can't fight Nibbles!" And they made him fight anyway. And Killer...killed Nibbles. And Killer said "That's it!" He called off all his fights, he started doing crack, and he fffffffffffffffffffffffreaked out. And in a rage, he collapsed. And his heart...would no longer beat. Wow...

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Wed Dec 23, 2009 10:35 pm
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Post Re: Favorite Lines
Toto, I have the feeling we're not in Kansas anymore.

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Wed Dec 23, 2009 10:50 pm
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Post Re: Favorite Lines
Psychos don't explode in sunlight, I don't care how crazy they are.

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Wed Dec 23, 2009 11:01 pm
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Post Re: Favorite Lines
Alright, but before I can sell you the gun there's a five day waiting period.
Five days? but I'm mad now!
Sorry, but you'll have to wait.
...if I had my gun I'd shoot you...
Yeah, but you don't.

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Thu Dec 24, 2009 11:57 am
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Post Re: Favorite Lines
Dark Jester wrote:

"Oh look! They're REALLY mad now!"

"On today's show, we're going to teach poodles how to fly!"



GOD BLESS WEIRD AL! UHF, UHF!

Also, Noted quite a few Simpson's quotes :)

Now..

"I ain't got time to bleed.

Well, you got time to duck?"

"PULL OUT YOUR EYES FOR JU-JU BEANS!"

"All I get is the midgest cricket?"

"Wait wait wait, no when are the pancakes comming in the mail?"

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Bubba wrote:
PKB's accent is... awesome and.. surprisingly sexy.

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Thu Dec 24, 2009 11:49 pm
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Post Re: Favorite Lines
I want these men arrested! They're in direct violation of the environmental protection act! And this explosion is a direct result of it!
YOUR MOTHER!

Everything was going fine until dickless here decided to turn off the power.
They caused an explosion!!
Is this true?
Yes, this man has no dick.

It's every New Yorker's God-given right to be a pissed off as they want to be.

Wang, these guys, these Sing-Dings...
Chang-Sings.
They got enemies?
Weng-Kong.
Who wear red turbans?
HOLY SHIT!

I'm sorry, but this is sacramental wine. It can only be used to bless things
Awww...
Wait a minute. There's rocks here. There's trees, there's birds, there's squirrels. Come on! We'll bless them all until we get fusnuckad (not even trying to spell that :P), join me!

But ya know, life is like a mop. Sometimes life gets full of dirt and hairballs and stuff and you just gotta clean it out! Sometimes you a mop's not good enough, and you gotta get down on your hands and knees with like a toothbrush and start scrubbing at it like this. But if that's not good enough, if those floors are still dirty and you can't get'em clean, then you gotta stand right up, you gotta run to a window and say "HEY! THESE FLOORS ARE DIRTY AS HELL! AND I'M NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE!"

You're a very lucky boy Timmy, you just found the marble in the oatmeal. You know what that means don't ya? You get to drink...from the FIRE HOSE!!
Yay!
Open wide! *BOOOOOSH!*

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Fri Dec 25, 2009 4:51 pm
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Post Re: Favorite Lines
"Dear Lord: The gods have been good to me. For the first time in my life, everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is. So here's the deal:

You freeze everything the way it is, and I won't ask for anything more. If that is OK, please give me absolutely no sign. OK, deal. In gratitude, I present you this offering of cookies and milk. If you want me to eat them for you, give me no sign. Thy will be done."

"Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!"

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Bubba wrote:
PKB's accent is... awesome and.. surprisingly sexy.

:)


Fri Dec 25, 2009 9:56 pm
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Post Re: Favorite Lines
"I'LL COME WHEREVER I GOD DAMN PLEASE"

"My husband is having an affair with your wife. I don't think we should talk about it, unless you're prepared to kill them."

"OH MAN, OH GOD, OH MAN, OH GOD, OH MAN, OH GOD, OH MAN, OH GOD, OH MAN, OH GOD!"

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Post Re: Favorite Lines
newpurple wrote:
"OH MAN, OH GOD, OH MAN, OH GOD, OH MAN, OH GOD, OH MAN, OH GOD, OH MAN, OH GOD!"

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9KyBdPeKHg[/video]

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Fri Dec 25, 2009 10:15 pm
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Post Re: Favorite Lines
Homer and Peter with pie:

"Alright pie, I'm gonna start chomping my mouth like this *nom nom nom* and if you get in the way of my chomping, it's your own fault. *nom nom nom bangs his head on the cabinet* D'OH! Ahh screw it. *eats the pie*"

"Yeah, I've seen that movie. Whore. Slut. Bitch. You don't DESERVE to have sex with me. Instead I'm gonna eat the whore outta you!"

This can't be right, it says this man has 173% body fat...HEY! NO EATING IN THE TANK!
Go to hell.

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ahhh i wait for the day someone can get me off.

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Sat Dec 26, 2009 2:00 am
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Post Re: Favorite Lines
An altered line I came up with myself while playing CoD, it got some laughs from the team I was on:
"What are you saying...I can dodge bullets?"
"No. I'm saying when you lag, you won't have to."

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Sat Dec 26, 2009 2:19 am
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Post Re: Favorite Lines
That was horrible! You guys look like a buncha retards trying to hump a door knob!

Jesus. Is that really necessary?
Necessary? Is it necessary for me to drink my own urine?
N...no.
It's not. But I do anyways because it's sterile and I like the taste!

Remember the five D's of Dodgeball: Dodge, Duck, Dip, Dive, and...Dodge!

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Sat Dec 26, 2009 2:57 am
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Post Re: Favorite Lines
"Define ‘irony’: a bunch of idiots dancing around on a plane, to a song made famous by a band that died in a plane crash."

Have you ever danced with the Devil in the pale moonlight?

No, ma’am. We at the FBI do not have a sense of humor we’re aware of.

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Bubba wrote:
PKB's accent is... awesome and.. surprisingly sexy.

:)


Sat Dec 26, 2009 4:15 pm
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Post Re: Favorite Lines
Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here! This is the War Room!

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Bubba wrote:
PKB's accent is... awesome and.. surprisingly sexy.

:)


Sat Dec 26, 2009 4:28 pm
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