Checking...
Frequently wears black clothing.
CHECK. One of my favorite clothes is a black shirt.
Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.
CHECK. Megadeth and Metallica is the way to roll!.
Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish.
Nope Worldly appearances mean nothing to me.
Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include: reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various other Satanic worshipping symbols.
Nope Worldly appearances mean nothing to me.
Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.
Nope Worldly appearances mean nothing to me.
Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)
CHECK. ANTISOCIAL FOREVER!.
Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.
CHECK. My best friends are internets weirdos. HANZO SPAM!
Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.
CHECK. Reading fiction is wholesome?.
Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.
CHECK. O Loli, Bringer of the Morning Star, Save me from the Evil of normalfaggory!.
Takes drugs.
CHECK. I use uphamol 650 when the pain gets really bad.
Drinks alcohol.
Nope. to keep costs low, I kicked the habit.
Is suicidal and/or depressed.
Nope. The Lord, Loli, watches over me and keeps me from harm.
Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation. (This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)
Nope. The Loli's Blessing has given me eternal life. Problem?
Complains of boredom.
Nope. I used to be bored. Then I found FH.
Sleeps too excessively or too little.
CHECK. I sleep lots in winter, and little in Summer.
Is excessively awake during the night.
CHECK. Night is the time for me. The silence! The wonder!
Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)
CHECK. Its too bright! I like my crypt just fine!
Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
CHECK. I've got a whole house for me.
Spends large amounts of time alone.
CHECK. I am FOREVER ALONE.
Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your child may speak to evil sprits through meditation.)
CHECK. Wrong. I am creating big-chested girls in another dimension through naught - but sheer willpower.
Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.
CHECK. I will live, and die - with my friends.
Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this.
CHECK. Respecting meat, child molesters, non-hentai nuns and oldfags who dont deserve respect arent in my playbook!.
Misbehaves at school.
CHECK. Those were the days, eh. I used to be such a bad dude.
Misbehaves at home.
CHECK. Yup, good times.
Eats goth-related foods. Count Chocula cereal is an example of this.
CHECK. Bitch, black rice is the REAL goth food.
Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped immediately.)
CHECK. SUSHI MOTHERFUCKERS, DO YOU EAT IT?!
Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)
CHECK. Youtube poop!. Yay!
Plays videos games that contains violence or are of a role-playing nature.
CHECK. Non-stop, topless! Bus, gas, explosion!.
Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.
CHECK. I can see it! I can see Earth!. Home! We're home!
Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.
CHECK. Rock out...
Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.
CHECK. ...with your PINGAS out!
Expresses an interest in sex.
Nope Been there, done that. Brb building golems.
Masturbates
CHECK. FH HENTAI THREAD GO!.
Is homosexual and/or bisexual.
Nope I'm asexual. Problem?
Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.
Nope IAD! FREEZE! ON THE FUCKING FLOOR! NOW! You're under arrest for suspected links to islam!. DONT TRY ANYTHING OR ELSE I'LL SHOOT YOUR NUTS OFF!
Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".
Nope Worldly appearances mean nothing to me.
Claims to be a goth.
Nope Bitch, I'm a lvl 100 zenmaster zombie.