Does anyone of you truly feel you fit in among your friends IRL? Do you ever get the feeling that the things you have in common with your friends are very few or insignificant?
I think I have a problem where I can never get the feeling of fitting in anywhere (except here). I have nerd friends who like programming like me, but that is all I have in common with them. I have less nerdy friends who have been there since my childhood, but when I think about it, I only have the childhood in common with them, and if we had been introduced to each other a week ago, I probably wouldn't be their friend.
Whenever I see people connect through a conversation I always feel envy. I am unable to connect to anyone like other people. How do they do it? How can I become interested in discussing my interests with others?
Whenever I do find something in common with another person, I feel that I still have nothing to discuss with said person. We both like the same things, what is there to add to it, anyway? I think this is why I have problems making new friends nowadays. I just don't connect with others. I can't fit in.

Do normal people find thrill in talking to others when they have a common interest?
Is it that I've gotten so cynical that I cannot respect any other human being anymore?
I sometimes meet interesting people, but even then I still don't want to bother talking to them.


tl;dr:

I have always tried to be "The perfect gentleman of social circle's"

I have nerd friends with A+ certs and Coding certs
I have (literal) nigger friends who gangbang
I have regular stoner friends
I have heroin junky friends
I have meth addict friends
I have coke/crack addict friends
I have big time drug dealer friends and their weirdo goons who sit in the corner clutching a safeway bag looking like if you go near his bag he will cut the fuck out of you.
I have small time drug dealer friends
I have perverted loli loving friends who draw their own art
I have flash artist friends
I have stripper friends
I have friends who run the security for the strippers (also drug dealer)
I have friends who are hardcore porn actor/actresses
I have alot of friends from social circles that are on complete opposite ends of the spectrum and everysingle one of them fucking love me to death?
I have gay friends
I have strait friends

why?
because im not a fucking faggot and i dont have fucking ass-burgers

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I have *counts* three friends that I met AFK and that I would count as "friends" and I only have a great deal in common with one. I have nobody in my life that has shared my childhood, I have estranged myself from my mom and two sisters, have moved out of state to distance myself from my two home town friends and don't actually have a "home town."

I make no excuses and do not lament this situation. I have made my mistakes, blown vast sums of money in the pursuit of instant gratification and faced the consequences for my actions. Life is for living and while I'm not trying to say "go out there and fuck your life up" I don't exactly regret my choices. I simply don't need the vast interpersonal networks for which so many others strive in order to be happy.

If you love other people so much fuck 'em.

I know a lot of people, and I hang out with people, but I do not enjoy it unless I'm drinking. I don't consider them my friends because I don't talk to them when we're alone. It's like when you hang out with 10 different people, but as soon as you're down to 2 people, you realize you are definitely not bros.
It's not like I can't have a discussion with people and act like a normal guy, it's just that I don't enjoy it at all.

How the fuck do you get the feeling "oh man, I did this today, and I've got to tell someone about it!"? cause I don't get that shit.

I have some friends which I talk too and go out with,
and other friends which I don't really talk to but still think they're friends,

I don't really make new friends now,
it's just I don't want to scare the hell out of them,
telling them who I am or them finding out who I really am,
underneath all that skin.

Maybe that's why I don't have a girlfriend yet,
I'm a bit scared to open up to people.

On the internet it's different,
nobody really knows who you are and
it's easier to tell things on the internet,
than face to face to a person.

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Except, even on the internet I usually avoid talking to people unless it is on FH.
I tried playing an mmorpg for the first time in years, last summer. My friends list stayed empty for the entire month I played it...

Am I afraid to open up?

Sounds to me you are questioning who you are when there is no need to. You see what pthers have, and envy them because it makes you feel different. You dont seem to really care, until you make yourself care. You try and you try and you try and yet it seems like nothing happens, nothing is going on.

When one is drinking, you increase the amount of dopamine and thus the "happy" levels in your body. This is a substitute for whatever it is you really want, and will work for a time. Maybe until tomorrow..... maybe 30 years into the future, or more. But the effect you want that you might get from drinking, is it really what you want? Is it reality, or are you chasing shadows?

Now, the reason behind your actions can only be explained by yourself in the end, but of course you need the right tools for it. So i want you to ask yourself a few questions.

What am I afraid of when it comes to social interaction, or making friends? How does the fear manifest?
More importantly, am I even afraid? Is it trully connected to fear? Is it indifference? Is it a defense mechanism?
Do I passively prevent people from coming into my life due to who they are, who I am or otherwise?
Is it an active choice? Is it a conscious choice? Is it a passive choice? Do you feel like you have any choice at all?
Am I afraid to be judged by prospect or current friends? Am I afraid to be judged for who I am? Or is there another reason why I dont want them to know me?

I have found out from many years of experimenting, that the best way to learn about life is to leave ones comfort zone. Im not saying that it will be easy, or you will find definate answers. But if one spends ones life constantly within the same variables, how can one truly change? If one never leaves the current circle for some adventuring, all one can do is throw around the current variables a little bit. You you got nothing to add, substract, divide or multiply with. See it as beeing fully capable of Mathematics C, but just keep on doing the maths from a book that covers the beginning of Mathematics A. A bit of a waste, no?

The world is a big place, and you can nowadays see alot of it just from your own living room. We have so much freedom and possibilities in comparison with our ancestors, and yet we limit ourselves to what we see before us.

Even suffering is a teacher, in a sense. It is not the only teacher, and we should not only learn from one teacher.

So! My tip for you is, challenge the world. And see what happens when you get back from your adventures. Who knows, maybe the answer you seek is the adventure itself?

I truly believe this post should be in no spam, due it being a very interesting and good topic, but you should decide for yourself. Say the word and I'll move it

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Yeah, it's hard, my friends list on mmorpg's usually are empty too,
but I do talk to people from time to time,
only because they are helping me or I them.

FH just a place where we can feel normal, while we think the outside world might thinks of us being something else.
At least we should be happy such a place exist, feeling different from others, isn't an all pleasant feeling.

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I find this topic interesting. I don't fit in with my friends IRL. I guess that's kind of intentional. I used to like the things they did, but I kind of drifted away from most of those things and found myself generally happier. As someone who is currently unemployed and doesn't spend much time out with other people I often get asked the question "What do you do all day?" To which I respond "Masturbate furiously." I think the fact that I don't share with them the activities I actually do more often - and, by extension, wouldn't tell them about FH - is a good sign that I don't actually feel like we connect as friends. It definitely means we're people of different interests. I will often openly state that I hate them when I have justification at the time, and I've managed to make them openly exclude me from their gatherings. I feel it is time to move away and ignore them for the rest of my life. These friends are people I have met five or six years ago and didn't have much choice when it came to who I hung out with. (Nerds in the "regular" program at our middle school ended up being few and far between.) I'm actually not sure what kind of people I'd like to be friends with. I suppose in the end that will just be trial and error. But anyway, I wouldn't be surprised if the root of my problem lies in my inability to naturally understand social behavior. Sure I can understand in theory, but when it comes down to it there are so many things where I just wonder why the fuck these things matter to people. Every time I go out shopping and wait around, my attention wanders to the products around me. I'll fidget with things that are in my hands, and exhibit generally suspicious behavior such as going through the same area multiple times while I debate if I really need to ask the clerk the question I have. (I've jumped the gun on that before only to have something obvious pointed out to me, which causes me to now be absolutely sure I can't find whatever it is I need.) It isn't that doing these things makes me feel awkward - on the contrary, they take some of the edge off because it's just how I naturally do these things - but it makes me feel like everyone else thinks I'm being awkward. In probably overly-presumptuous about how other people view me, but I always feel like I'm judged the moment two words leave my mouth, and usually before that. I'm quiet, and generally give off the feeling that I don't want to talk to people. That isn't really a conscious thing, but I'm probably afraid of causing the very thing I cause by being afraid and hesitant. I'm full of things like that. Of issues that would just disappear if I didn't make them into issues. But again, I don't understand why people care. It's like the fact that I'm somewhat quiet at first makes me appear unapproachable and hateful. (Slight exaggeration but you know what I mean.) After that it's like every discussion with the people who feel that way is doomed to failure. So I guess my problem is different from Parpol's; I don't have a problem with sharing interests and talking to people, but I do have a problem with how the world expects me to fit the archetype that matches my personality. Feel free to comment, insult, suggest, judge, etc. You know, all those internet things.

TL;DR: It doesn't really matter. I just kind of threw up a self-study on my phone while bored.

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I don't find it right to insult you.
When I'm not on my pc or my gaming consoles, I'm always thinking what I should do next,
and then always thinking if I should do it, pro's and con's, if the one outweight the other,
I may or may not do what I was thinking to do.
But sometimes I'm impulsives and I do what I was thinking without looking at the consequences.
Everyone is different, but that's why some of us, don't know who we can relate too.
That's why it's so hard to really have friends.

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Be awesome. I have this feeling three or four times a day and get great responses to everything. I lead a fucked up life filled with adventure and actual insanity. I should become addicted to sleeping pills.


I'm reading into this so if I'm wrong, neat: there's a notion that one should assume a facade/persona to conceal themselves online simply because they may. I'm not saying put out your full name and address but be yourself. You attract more flies with vinegar than honey. (No, seriously, vinegar works better and fits the situation better.)


At least you're being yourself. I have many friends lists and most are either empty or close to it. Not because I'm quiet but because I'm loud. I'm an obnoxious mother fucker that will curse in children's games (Hello Kitty Online founder, speaking) and generally create my own fun. This behavior does not win me a lot of friends but the few that stick around get the show of their lives in the madness of my presence.


Fuck that jazz, yo. Check it: if you leave your comfort zone you're going to find people in their comfort zone and guess what? They hate your comfort zone and think you're a weirdo. You know what? Fuck those bitches! The real "problem," if there has to be one, is that you don't want to be judged. Nobody does, it sucks. I used to pass around my cellphone and let people poke through my loli, guro and other such fucked up (and beyond) smut. I got a fucking lot of "something is so fucking wrong with you" and I got indignant then spun the logic back on them making them feel bad.

The best part was when that infrequent person would respond with "fuck yeah, I need to show my wife this decapitation porn shit." It'll happen, just put yourself out there and understand that you're a fucking weird fuck. (We're all weird fucks here, it's why you feel safe. You fucking weird fuck.)


The jist of this one is also fear of being judged but manifest is low self confidence. Dancing is dumb. It's wiggling around to rhythmic bass for the purposes of mating (or bringing blessings of good harvest, but less so anymore) and often involves being intoxicated (especially in the case of good harvests).

The trick? Confidence. You are going to look like a lobotomized retard having a seizure, photoshopped into a rave. If you do this and give off the impression that you think you look like Adonis posing for a Nike commercial then you've managed to "woo" a bitch by performing the sprinker. Confidence makes looking stupid be awesome.


I don't know what this means so I'm going to ignore it.

I am significantly less sick and am angry at my sick self. Please disregard everything previously stated until I am again sick, which will bubble up that part of my personality once again. My friends are still faggots that I hate, though.

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It means I'm always thinking about what I should do next, when I'm trying to be social.
It's easy to say something wrong or something other people will misinterpret,
that's why I'm thinking of what to do or say,
so that won't happen too often.

And if you still don't get it

Spoiler: show

I'm always overthinking things

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It depends on what you see as leaving your comfort zone. When you passed around your cellphone, you left ONE of your "comfort zones". Wich is in a sense what I said. Reach out with a DON. The real people stick around, the others wont ;P

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Nah, that was well within my comfort zone. Plus it was at work. I'd have taken a bullet for any one of them. Seriously. I'm paranoid but not secretive.