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 Text Based Adventure (TBA) 
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Post Text Based Adventure (TBA)
This is a game where the game master (me at the moment) plays the computer. Everyone else plays the players. The computer is programmed with an adventure game and a bad attitude that will respond to most, but not all, commands. If any of you have ever played a text-based adventure game, this is a more interactive version of one of those. This also means it's potentially multi-player. If you do not have a separate player profile (Given at the will of the computer, sometimes up for auction, sometimes by request), you are assumed to be playing as Player 1. If you do not have your own player profile, you can also use someone else's while they're not around, possibly screwing over or helping them. If I, as the computer, do not respond in a reasonable amount of time to a command (say about 3 days to a week) someone else can "hack" the computer and take over that position, forfeiting any player profiles they may have. If additional stipulations must be posted, they will be in this first post. Let's try this out, gang!


--Player 1 will be played by the community with no one person taking absolute control over him. All posts not made by the computer will be assumed to be as Player 1 unless specified. All commands posted by the computer are as the computer. The computer will address who it is speaking to. Such as, "Player 3: You attempt to jump up and down on Player 2, but slip on a banana peel and fall. Player 2: You laugh at Player 3 without the ability to control yourself."


--------------------------
Welcome!
--------------------------

Player 1 has joined the game.

Player one has started the game.



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Player 1: You wake up.

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Mon Jun 30, 2014 9:13 pm
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Post Re: Text Based Adventure (TBA)
Fap furiously to the poster of Freddy Mercury displayed proudly above your bed.

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Tue Jul 01, 2014 6:51 pm
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Post Re: Text Based Adventure (TBA)
Do you agree with me
We're finding hope in disaster
Aim it casually
And I cant go any faster than
You are beyond sight
howling at the moon each night
(howling at the moon each night)
howling at the moon each night

A veil you secretly
will hide behind until after
you run easily
farther than my hope could ask for
break open the sky
forcing up a black sunrise
break open the sky
forcing up a black sunrise

Do you agree with me
We're finding hope in disaster
Different frequencies
And I can't go any faster than you are
Beyond sight
howling at the moon each night

Enjoy the scenery
Don't know how long it will last
You say it dreamily as if we'd already passed it by
break open the sky
forcing up a black sunrise
break open the sky
forcing up a black sunrise
break open the sky
it's more than i can leave behind

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OLD VERSION, BITCHES!
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Tue Jul 01, 2014 7:04 pm
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Post Re: Text Based Adventure (TBA)
Whoa, no way. Legit spam.

Song lyrics make me miss Hanzo. :(

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Tue Jul 01, 2014 7:37 pm
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Post Re: Text Based Adventure (TBA)
--------------------------
Player 1: As you awake, you feel the uncontrollable urge to release yourself as soon as possible. As you begin to, you hear a song playing. You do not know where the song is coming from as you have not yet opened your eyes nor do you know where you are. You assumed you were in your room, yet you have no radio or any other way to hear music in there. Come to think of it, this doesn't even smell like your room. Nevertheless, you keep going at it with nothing to stop you but the own arguing you are doing inside your head with yourself. You also get a sudden urge for processed spiced ham.

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Wed Jul 02, 2014 9:09 am
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Post Re: Text Based Adventure (TBA)
The next thought you get is that you're very hungry, and you could do well with some spiced ham. Unfortunately, you realize you have no ham, and have to do with some hammm. Are you okay with this?

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Yeap.

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Wed Jul 02, 2014 9:28 am
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Post Re: Text Based Adventure (TBA)
I want Hammm to give me a handjob. Spicy or not spicy. And I want him to do it while he's tripping balls on DDT or some-such hallucinogen.

But seriously do you have to type "open your eyes". it's not one of *those* games is it?

"open your eyes"
>> You open your eyes and realise you are falling off a cliff. You die upon impact with what appears to be a large inflatable pool filed with used tampons.

The End. Final score: 1/500.

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Thu Jul 03, 2014 7:15 pm
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Post Re: Text Based Adventure (TBA)
.Main menu
>Continue

You walked out of the window and fell into a feminist ammo depot. Yes, it's full of tampons. Will you nibble on the used tampons?

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Thu Jul 03, 2014 10:44 pm
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Post Re: Text Based Adventure (TBA)
Upon nibbling; a curious though enters your head. With nature's bounty dripping from your dry, cracked lips you stand and come to the realisation that you are now the richest man in the world. If the entire world converted to a used-tampon based currency.

Which luckily for you... It has.

You are now the richest man in the world, if you can stand to stop eating your delicious, delicious money. Is this awesome?

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Mon Jul 07, 2014 6:52 pm
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In just under one-thousand eight-bit bytes I have to confer some glorious shrine to myself by means of text, images, hyper links, embeded flash compositions and possibly formatting. I could abuse this easily. Ten hour clips on youtube embeded in a single vertical stack. Multi-megapixel long transparent GIFs causing scrollbar hell. Nuero-linguistic programs that fuck your mind like a fresh squid. Eye raping color schemes using ascii full-width blocks. Images or links to images of things that can not be unseen. Anything called "epilepsy" dot SWF. This is what I want to do. I am not a good person. I just know that would be a flagrant display of disrespect. I'll wait until I can get away with it.
NOW IN GLORIOUS TODD A.O.!
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Mon Jul 07, 2014 9:47 pm
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Post Re: Text Based Adventure (TBA)
Boring. Too bad you can't buy a magnet to attract you some puss-ay.

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Tue Jul 08, 2014 12:32 am
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