I, HEREBY REQUEST A RAISE IN SALARY FOR THE FOLLOWING REASONS:
I do physical labour.
I work at great depths.
I don't get weekends or public holidays off.
I work in a damp enviroment.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
Sincerely
P.Niss
RESPONSE
Dear P.Niss
After assessing your request and considering the arguements you have raised, we reject your request for the following reasons :
You don't work 8hours straight.
You fall asleep after brief periods of work.
You don't take the initiative.
You need to be pressured and stimulated into starting work.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You don't always observe the necessary safety regulations, such as wearing protective clothing.
You are unable to work double shifts.
and as if that wasn't all..
You constantly enter the workplace carrying two suspicious bags!
Yours sinerely
V.Gina
