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 Dear Michael.. 
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Post Dear Michael..
Hello everyone... I know it's been a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG time since I have ever posted on here... and I know the following is going to be really sappy... might even make you puke.
Please move on if you plan to make fun of me... For this cause... at the cost of the love of my life... i have to do everything I can... in my power... to reach him...


Michael,

Please... Take my hand again..

You are right.. about everything. . . Can you ever forgive me?...

You don't have to hate every holiday because of me... You don't have to feel alone.. betrayed.. or mistrusted...

My heart is shattered.. I don't even know where to begin picking up the pieces.. or the mess that I caused... All over something i could have resolved, simply by telling you how much i loved you.. How much you mean to me, and how much I believe in your ability to conquere any goal you have before you.. This ruck in the mud will be temporary.. You'll get that job, and you'll excell! You know you will!!!

But no matter how much I am hurting...it does not compare to how much I've hurt you..

All i do, is complain about the past tragedies that happened between us... and sulk about the pain i felt.. but never once considered how much pain i caused you...every single day.
Constantly fighting you... Doubting you, and bashing you... Treating you like you hurt me daily... when the truth is, my fairy tale prince is standing before me... and i just can't accept that i'm worthy enough to be his princess.. Whether it's because my skin is too dark, or my waist line is to thick... or simply because i don't share a fair face that you deserve to wake up to...

I push, and push, and push away, thinking one day it'll all be the same again... I'll be alone... Broken.. Confused... Safe in the vicinity of hiding in my room and looking at the sabotage that i caused to myself... Pinning it all on you.. knowing damn well..it's me.. It's always me.

Time after time again.. i hurt you.. I push you away and scream that this isn't enough... The distance between us in miles.. the cute little kisses we would give each other over cam.. That unless you were here at my side... i or it... was never enough.

You made feeling alone, not so lonely after all. For once, i had someone i could talk to about anything, and everything without a filter... and for the first time you, could be yourself.. Fully.
I am so sorry for hurting you, Michael.. You deserve the love of your life...you deserve peaceful nights... You deserve the sweet whispers that "You can do it!" and to "Never give up!" because despite all the troubles life throws at you-- we will always survive.. we will live on, and prosper.. we will laugh again, and learn to love again... You'll achieve your dreams... so don't ever give up on them... EVER.. No matter how hard it is I BELIEVE IN YOU, and you know i do!

The man I fell in love with.. is the Paragon he so claims himself to be..He does not back down to a challenge... and when your knees buckle--you do not stumble and fall, for you stand back up... and you march on... Take your life into your own hands... because you are NO FUCKING BITCH. Never were, never will be, never could be--and never should be.


As you said...Maybe it's time to stop being the prince... and to become the king you truly are.
I need that king... I need you, Michael.. I love you from every fiber of my body... the pure essence that is me, loves you. Everything you've shown me, everything we have been through, and all the adventures we went on... was not futile.. it was not meaningless... It never will leave me... I will always wait here for you... Whether you need an ear to whisper too.. Someone you can call friend... or once more.. accept me as i am... for who i am... and take me back into your heart... as you will forever be in mine... I can't... Go on without you, Mimi...

Please... Forgive me...

Your sappy princess,

Kiwi


Wed Jan 03, 2018 7:38 am
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